'I'd walk with you, hand in hand, and baby in the other.'
This post is designed to grab the attention of one specific person. Note title and first line.
Hello there confused person, in bewilderment and shock. I'm here to say, in all honesty and might, if you need a hand to hold or a healthy push, then always remember there's me.
I just have a few questions that I have been contemplating.
What would be the worst out come?
If worst came to worst, would you go it alone?
Are you too scared to find out?
Of course, this post could be coming to you a bit to late. But 'It's the thought that counts' LOL.
xx
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Cold Snap, Gift Wrap
Von Franklin Bonabell
I have not been on here for a while. Been rather sick, and/or otherwise just been taking a break from the dear computer.
I had one of the worst days of my life the other day. Purely through the results of pain. The whole sickness thing was not pleasant. I inevitably ended up crying, on my mothers shoulder.
Since I was last on here, I went shopping, with Holly and Lucy. Twas fun. I got some lovely new clothes.
Oh, my head just started hurting.
The greatest shave was on, since I last posted. Good on ya Aimee.
I started reading Animal Farm, By George Orwell.
Yep.
I had more I wanted to say.
I am wearing very comfy undies. LOL.
Oh yeh, my brother is rumoured to have been in a threesome.
I;m unsure how i feel about it.
I was texting my ex the other day.
That only lasted a little while, then i got no more replies.
Well, yeh. I have ran out of things to talk about.
I don't think my mind is quite focused enough.
xx
I have not been on here for a while. Been rather sick, and/or otherwise just been taking a break from the dear computer.
I had one of the worst days of my life the other day. Purely through the results of pain. The whole sickness thing was not pleasant. I inevitably ended up crying, on my mothers shoulder.
Since I was last on here, I went shopping, with Holly and Lucy. Twas fun. I got some lovely new clothes.
Oh, my head just started hurting.
The greatest shave was on, since I last posted. Good on ya Aimee.
I started reading Animal Farm, By George Orwell.
Yep.
I had more I wanted to say.
I am wearing very comfy undies. LOL.
Oh yeh, my brother is rumoured to have been in a threesome.
I;m unsure how i feel about it.
I was texting my ex the other day.
That only lasted a little while, then i got no more replies.
Well, yeh. I have ran out of things to talk about.
I don't think my mind is quite focused enough.
xx
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Pink Quiche
One foot wrong, i am listening to pink this time, and i have to be quick, only like 4 minutes left of this 'period', the new name for lessons, ficking americans, losers and there ness, vanessa hudgens, KELLY RIPA, hope and faith, regis and kelly, scrubs, ancient greek legends, ODYSSEUS, oh the video clip for this song is weird, but apporopriate i think, makes sence, very pink and very good, anyways, should i be political, SAVE THE CHILDREN. g2g
xx
xx
And here is evelyn
hi eveyone in the blogging world.. i am not apart of your world.. but i thought id visit..
this here, is SAM LANES blog thingo.
he just wrote quite an insane blog about nothing.
it scared me a little.
actually.. a lot.
anyhooo..
i dont think im very good at this.
megan is quite a cutie.
i <3 u 4 u r a q t
that is silly.
says the one that snorts.
i also have a strange laugh that is occasional very high pitched and loud.
kyrie just walked in with coke.. suprise suprise. hehehe
larinda works at red rooster.. nom nom.
im really bored. yes sam.. it is.
i dont know why i space out my ness... but it looks neater somehow.
but less intelligent.
eveybody.. do the cha cha..
*does dance*
yay its me and nathans one month today XD
it makes me happy. =]
ok.. im off.. XOXO
this here, is SAM LANES blog thingo.
he just wrote quite an insane blog about nothing.
it scared me a little.
actually.. a lot.
anyhooo..
i dont think im very good at this.
megan is quite a cutie.
i <3 u 4 u r a q t
that is silly.
says the one that snorts.
i also have a strange laugh that is occasional very high pitched and loud.
kyrie just walked in with coke.. suprise suprise. hehehe
larinda works at red rooster.. nom nom.
im really bored. yes sam.. it is.
i dont know why i space out my ness... but it looks neater somehow.
but less intelligent.
eveybody.. do the cha cha..
*does dance*
yay its me and nathans one month today XD
it makes me happy. =]
ok.. im off.. XOXO
Mow Mow
Its 5th period. Sitting here in the music mac lab, listening to some more Duffy. What am I thinking about.
Warwick Avenue, Megan, Holly and friends, Wedges with sour cream, Hannah is sitting just over there, Duffy, Lorinda, Chris's bag, kyire's drum lesson, MEGAN is here, Woo, where you going, oh ok, come back quickly, i love this song, i love that person, no not love, its just made sense to continue on like that, ew, i hate this song, Syrup and honey, wooo, waxing legs, i loveth megan, 1 2 3, BABY BABY BABY spend your time on me, LOL, whats megan looking for, whats on that peice of paper, oh i-pod, yes that makes sense, she's opening a word document, whats she going to listen to, i'll ask, Sex on fire, no, feeling good by muse, HAHA, this is fun, Air guitar, LOL, megan is so adorable, she doesnt need to try, i am aren't i, do i like this song, mmm, sometimes if i am in the mood,sometimes its annoying, right now i can't be bothered changing, wait, what lesson is megan meant to be in, EVELYN, lol, oh, shes wagging, lol, megan that is, S+E with ms gregory huh, womens studies? anti christ, I KNOW ITS WRONG,HANGING ON TOO LONG, what an oddish song, Janelle monae, Womadelaide, green laces, chicken teriyaki, joseph, old phone, OH, i have so much credit, 50 free texts, 50 free dollars, I am rolling in it, LOL, compared to what i usually have, Scrubs is awesome, oh house is on tonight, WOO ness, Vanessa hudgens is abit of a skank, thought to thought, are thoughts chemical reactions in the brain, are every thought a reaction in the brain, would that mean we could like totally read peoples minds and such, because if we learned what each reaction meant, or infact, if there was nothing physical that connected thoughts, wouldn't that mean thoughts don't exist, meaning that everything that is around us was subject to the creation of something that doesn't exist, ie, our thoughts and all that, hhmmmmmmmm, makes ya think, 1984, oddness, reactions, anyways, I want to, i also want to read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, the boob lady,LOL, unsupportive bra, shut up woman, lol, what now, lunchtime, thank you, treble cleff, when i drop you boy, where is my mind going now, back to that person,why, how odd, tiddy not giving us money, kyrie, kyrie, hhmm, mentions of her name, she got 92 thats right, steven bickley, up himself, powerpoint, english orals, oooo, english oral script, i winged it, lol, terrible, surname, so funny, confident, i have been confident lately, Andrea has started talking to me, since monday, maybe i am being a bitch, enjoy it, hair in a bun, work, should be doing work, MY FAVOURITE SONG, I'm Scared, its awesome, Choir, not a soprano, alto, i'm a tenor, woooness, vanessa hudgens, lol, harmony, picture of your face, one note, phrase, one note, you were gone, and now i'm scared, aw,i love this song, loud and sharp, not good, louder but sharp, good god, she can sing, ok, get into my own thoughts not the thoughts of everyone around me, there are so many red lines on this post thingo, and there adds another one, a question mark, the opposites of siblings, the power struggle, hhmmm, Distant Dreamer, I rarely dream, but i like dreaming, and escaping, tis fun, watermelon, The Adventure Of ME, lol, psychology, the red lady person from psych, what a shit head, annoyance, piss off you, dam her, the grudge, i think i may have wrote enough, aw holly was crying, her friend is possibly moving school, OMG, nipples WTF, erm, but ya sadness, such a lovely girl, father being abit of a selfish shellfish, mmm, i tinks to myself that i may be crazy
xx
Warwick Avenue, Megan, Holly and friends, Wedges with sour cream, Hannah is sitting just over there, Duffy, Lorinda, Chris's bag, kyire's drum lesson, MEGAN is here, Woo, where you going, oh ok, come back quickly, i love this song, i love that person, no not love, its just made sense to continue on like that, ew, i hate this song, Syrup and honey, wooo, waxing legs, i loveth megan, 1 2 3, BABY BABY BABY spend your time on me, LOL, whats megan looking for, whats on that peice of paper, oh i-pod, yes that makes sense, she's opening a word document, whats she going to listen to, i'll ask, Sex on fire, no, feeling good by muse, HAHA, this is fun, Air guitar, LOL, megan is so adorable, she doesnt need to try, i am aren't i, do i like this song, mmm, sometimes if i am in the mood,sometimes its annoying, right now i can't be bothered changing, wait, what lesson is megan meant to be in, EVELYN, lol, oh, shes wagging, lol, megan that is, S+E with ms gregory huh, womens studies? anti christ, I KNOW ITS WRONG,HANGING ON TOO LONG, what an oddish song, Janelle monae, Womadelaide, green laces, chicken teriyaki, joseph, old phone, OH, i have so much credit, 50 free texts, 50 free dollars, I am rolling in it, LOL, compared to what i usually have, Scrubs is awesome, oh house is on tonight, WOO ness, Vanessa hudgens is abit of a skank, thought to thought, are thoughts chemical reactions in the brain, are every thought a reaction in the brain, would that mean we could like totally read peoples minds and such, because if we learned what each reaction meant, or infact, if there was nothing physical that connected thoughts, wouldn't that mean thoughts don't exist, meaning that everything that is around us was subject to the creation of something that doesn't exist, ie, our thoughts and all that, hhmmmmmmmm, makes ya think, 1984, oddness, reactions, anyways, I want to, i also want to read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, the boob lady,LOL, unsupportive bra, shut up woman, lol, what now, lunchtime, thank you, treble cleff, when i drop you boy, where is my mind going now, back to that person,why, how odd, tiddy not giving us money, kyrie, kyrie, hhmm, mentions of her name, she got 92 thats right, steven bickley, up himself, powerpoint, english orals, oooo, english oral script, i winged it, lol, terrible, surname, so funny, confident, i have been confident lately, Andrea has started talking to me, since monday, maybe i am being a bitch, enjoy it, hair in a bun, work, should be doing work, MY FAVOURITE SONG, I'm Scared, its awesome, Choir, not a soprano, alto, i'm a tenor, woooness, vanessa hudgens, lol, harmony, picture of your face, one note, phrase, one note, you were gone, and now i'm scared, aw,i love this song, loud and sharp, not good, louder but sharp, good god, she can sing, ok, get into my own thoughts not the thoughts of everyone around me, there are so many red lines on this post thingo, and there adds another one, a question mark, the opposites of siblings, the power struggle, hhmmm, Distant Dreamer, I rarely dream, but i like dreaming, and escaping, tis fun, watermelon, The Adventure Of ME, lol, psychology, the red lady person from psych, what a shit head, annoyance, piss off you, dam her, the grudge, i think i may have wrote enough, aw holly was crying, her friend is possibly moving school, OMG, nipples WTF, erm, but ya sadness, such a lovely girl, father being abit of a selfish shellfish, mmm, i tinks to myself that i may be crazy
xx
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
All The Lights Are On, I'm In The Dark, Whos Gonna Find Me
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing. Then I get to thinking, Who am I doing it for?
By what am I doing, I mean, trying to stand out as something 'attractive'. Although, if I am honest, I have always had that desire.
I'm finding something in nothing, again.
I'm listening to P!NK, and this is what it does to me. Makes me think. Oh I love Pink. And good ol Duffy. I wish I could write songs. Then I would feel complete.
The title of this post is Pink lyrics, woo.
I feel happy, why am I questioning it. Is it because I realise it is a completely superficial happiness, all based on the foundations of appearance. Is it because I feel like that is the only way. No, because happiness comes in all different forms. Plus, a person's appearance could not always be there own doings, so they still have the freedom to be however they like.
I know who I am doing it for, realistically. I am not oblivious. I am still in basic contact with my head. Ofcourse, that doesn't justify the whole thing.
I am divided.
xx
By what am I doing, I mean, trying to stand out as something 'attractive'. Although, if I am honest, I have always had that desire.
I'm finding something in nothing, again.
I'm listening to P!NK, and this is what it does to me. Makes me think. Oh I love Pink. And good ol Duffy. I wish I could write songs. Then I would feel complete.
The title of this post is Pink lyrics, woo.
I feel happy, why am I questioning it. Is it because I realise it is a completely superficial happiness, all based on the foundations of appearance. Is it because I feel like that is the only way. No, because happiness comes in all different forms. Plus, a person's appearance could not always be there own doings, so they still have the freedom to be however they like.
I know who I am doing it for, realistically. I am not oblivious. I am still in basic contact with my head. Ofcourse, that doesn't justify the whole thing.
I am divided.
xx
I leave the stars to judge my every move
I'm editing my myspace again.
I wish for people to just give me some more things to work with, LOL.
Some other peoples opinions and such.
Try and keep them positive, because yeh.
xx
I wish for people to just give me some more things to work with, LOL.
Some other peoples opinions and such.
Try and keep them positive, because yeh.
xx
Duffy Duffy DUFFY
"I'm Scared"
The blank pages of my diary,
That I haven't touched since you left me,
The closed blinds in my home,
See no light or day,
Dust gathers on my stereo,
Cause I can't bare to hear the radio,
The piano sits in a shaded space,
With a picture of your face,
I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....
Coffee stains on your favourite book,
Remind me of you so I can't take a look,
The magazines you left on the floor,
You won't need them anymore,
A towel left hanging on the wall,
No sign of wet footsteps in the hall,
There's no smell of your sweet cologne,
I'm lying here alone,
I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....
I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....
In an instance you were gone,
I'm scared.....
"Distant Dreamer"
Although you think I cope
My head is filled with hope
Of some place other than here
Although you think I smile
Inside and all the while
I'm wondering about my destiny
I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Even when you see me frown
My heart won't let me down
Because I know there's better things to come
And when life gets tough
And I feel I've had enough
I hold on to a distant star
I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Yeah I'm a dreamer
"Rockferry"
I'd move to Rockferry,
Tomorrow
And I'd build my house, baby
With sorrow
I'd leave my shadow,
To fall behind
And I wouldn't write to you
'cos I'm not that kind
The midnight trains are boarding
All wrap up 8s
I pich my load and i fill my truck
before its too late
I leave the stars to judge
my every move
I'm not going to think of you, oh
I'd get the blues
Theres no sleep on the journey
away from time
A bag of songs and a heavy heart
won't make me down
i'll give it all my strength and my mind
i'll make this decision with or without
I'd move to Rockferry,
Tomorrow
And I'd build my house, baby
With sorrow
I'd leave my shadow,
To fall behind
And i wouldn't write to you
'cos i'm not that kind
not that kind
Rockferry, not that kind [repeat]
[fading]
"Warwick Avenue"
When I get to Warwick Avenue
Meet me by the entrance of the tube
We can talk things over a little time
Promise me you won't step outta line
When I get to Warwick Avenue
Please drop the past and be true
Don't think we're okay, just because I'm here
You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear
I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I've been confused outta my mind lately
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
When I get to Warwick Avenue
We'll spend an hour, but no more than two
Our only chance to speak once more
I showed you the answers, now here's the door
When I get to Warwick Avenue
I'll tell you baby that we're through
I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I've been confused outta my mind lately
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
All the days spent together, I wished for better
But I didn't want the train to come
Now it's departed
I'm broken hearted, seems like we never started
All the days spent together, when I wished for better
And I didn't want the train to come
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
You don't love me, I want to be free
Baby you've hurt me
"Syrup & Honey"
Don't you be wasting all your money
On syrup and honey
Because I'm sweet enough
Don't you be using every minute
On making a living
Because we've got our love
Listen to me 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby
Spend your time on me
Don't you be out all night long
Leaving me all alone
Because I need your love
Don't you be spending every day
Working away
Because I'm waiting for you
Listen to me 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby
Spend your time on me
Spend it, spend it, spend it
Your time on me
Please baby
OMG, I LOVETH ME SOME DUFFY!!!!!!!
xx
The blank pages of my diary,
That I haven't touched since you left me,
The closed blinds in my home,
See no light or day,
Dust gathers on my stereo,
Cause I can't bare to hear the radio,
The piano sits in a shaded space,
With a picture of your face,
I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....
Coffee stains on your favourite book,
Remind me of you so I can't take a look,
The magazines you left on the floor,
You won't need them anymore,
A towel left hanging on the wall,
No sign of wet footsteps in the hall,
There's no smell of your sweet cologne,
I'm lying here alone,
I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....
I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....
In an instance you were gone,
I'm scared.....
"Distant Dreamer"
Although you think I cope
My head is filled with hope
Of some place other than here
Although you think I smile
Inside and all the while
I'm wondering about my destiny
I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Even when you see me frown
My heart won't let me down
Because I know there's better things to come
And when life gets tough
And I feel I've had enough
I hold on to a distant star
I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Yeah I'm a dreamer
"Rockferry"
I'd move to Rockferry,
Tomorrow
And I'd build my house, baby
With sorrow
I'd leave my shadow,
To fall behind
And I wouldn't write to you
'cos I'm not that kind
The midnight trains are boarding
All wrap up 8s
I pich my load and i fill my truck
before its too late
I leave the stars to judge
my every move
I'm not going to think of you, oh
I'd get the blues
Theres no sleep on the journey
away from time
A bag of songs and a heavy heart
won't make me down
i'll give it all my strength and my mind
i'll make this decision with or without
I'd move to Rockferry,
Tomorrow
And I'd build my house, baby
With sorrow
I'd leave my shadow,
To fall behind
And i wouldn't write to you
'cos i'm not that kind
not that kind
Rockferry, not that kind [repeat]
[fading]
"Warwick Avenue"
When I get to Warwick Avenue
Meet me by the entrance of the tube
We can talk things over a little time
Promise me you won't step outta line
When I get to Warwick Avenue
Please drop the past and be true
Don't think we're okay, just because I'm here
You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear
I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I've been confused outta my mind lately
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
When I get to Warwick Avenue
We'll spend an hour, but no more than two
Our only chance to speak once more
I showed you the answers, now here's the door
When I get to Warwick Avenue
I'll tell you baby that we're through
I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I've been confused outta my mind lately
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
All the days spent together, I wished for better
But I didn't want the train to come
Now it's departed
I'm broken hearted, seems like we never started
All the days spent together, when I wished for better
And I didn't want the train to come
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
You don't love me, I want to be free
Baby you've hurt me
"Syrup & Honey"
Don't you be wasting all your money
On syrup and honey
Because I'm sweet enough
Don't you be using every minute
On making a living
Because we've got our love
Listen to me 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby
Spend your time on me
Don't you be out all night long
Leaving me all alone
Because I need your love
Don't you be spending every day
Working away
Because I'm waiting for you
Listen to me 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby
Spend your time on me
Spend it, spend it, spend it
Your time on me
Please baby
OMG, I LOVETH ME SOME DUFFY!!!!!!!
xx
Monday, March 23, 2009
Once In The Boondocks
Ok, so today a there was strange new trend going on. Many more people were being nice, friendly and even rather flirty with me.
Now before today, the number of people that would offer to give me a piggy back, was limited to the one occasional adult that would be guilty for leaving me out of the little kids fun. LOL. But today I got on a total of 3 backs. Woo.
Today, I was dubbed, attractive, cute, adorable, sexy and good looking, by an array of people.
I don't know if many of you know what its like to suddenly have people praising your looks. Especially considering previously all I ever felt like was the over weight extra guy with nothing really going for him. It was up lifting. I felt more confident. I felt emotionally thinner. It was just lovely.
People were treating me nicer, and just kind of looking at me with a more pleasant look on there face.
Kind of proving all that psychology has been telling us about peoples attitudes and its relevance to appearance. Which in some ways is quite sad, but I don't know. I felt good today.
Its all because of my new stylish hair cut, and probably that mixed with the fact it was casual day.
xx
Now before today, the number of people that would offer to give me a piggy back, was limited to the one occasional adult that would be guilty for leaving me out of the little kids fun. LOL. But today I got on a total of 3 backs. Woo.
Today, I was dubbed, attractive, cute, adorable, sexy and good looking, by an array of people.
I don't know if many of you know what its like to suddenly have people praising your looks. Especially considering previously all I ever felt like was the over weight extra guy with nothing really going for him. It was up lifting. I felt more confident. I felt emotionally thinner. It was just lovely.
People were treating me nicer, and just kind of looking at me with a more pleasant look on there face.
Kind of proving all that psychology has been telling us about peoples attitudes and its relevance to appearance. Which in some ways is quite sad, but I don't know. I felt good today.
Its all because of my new stylish hair cut, and probably that mixed with the fact it was casual day.
xx
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Its A Terra Bite
Had a hair cut today. I am pleased with it. It has some shaped and stuff, :P. Hopefully people will notice, LOL.
I went bowling yesterday with Holly and my sister and her sister and her nan, twas lovely. I won both games, WOO. We planned to do stuff next weekend. Yep.
For those who don't know, Holly is basically my surrogate sister, if you will. She is a member of our 'Australian Family', which is just a collection of English families residing in the flagstaff hill/aberfoyle park area, who are very close, due to the fact they have no other family.
I enjoy spending time with her, she is still interested in me, :P
xx
I went bowling yesterday with Holly and my sister and her sister and her nan, twas lovely. I won both games, WOO. We planned to do stuff next weekend. Yep.
For those who don't know, Holly is basically my surrogate sister, if you will. She is a member of our 'Australian Family', which is just a collection of English families residing in the flagstaff hill/aberfoyle park area, who are very close, due to the fact they have no other family.
I enjoy spending time with her, she is still interested in me, :P
xx
Friday, March 20, 2009
Fine Young Cannibals
I'm adding randoms on Myspace, Its both interesting and pointless.
Also getting a little weirder.
This is my night tonight. Adding scores of people, just to spark fresh conversations with people I have never met. Its relaxing. Care free.
Some people out there are such jackasses. All 'hardcore', don't care, plain arrogant people. There are also those that say they are nice and like want to meet new people, but who won't talk or just kinda don't follow through with what the say about themselves. LOL.
Ah, how very odd.
xx
Also getting a little weirder.
This is my night tonight. Adding scores of people, just to spark fresh conversations with people I have never met. Its relaxing. Care free.
Some people out there are such jackasses. All 'hardcore', don't care, plain arrogant people. There are also those that say they are nice and like want to meet new people, but who won't talk or just kinda don't follow through with what the say about themselves. LOL.
Ah, how very odd.
xx
Myspace Profile - To keep on record
Sam Lane
31/5/1992
Read As One
It's All Me
Optimistic.
Empathetic.
Intelligent.
Creative.
Spontaneous.
Opinionated.
Thinker.
Stranger.
Listener.
Random.
Believes In Chance.
Collects Information.
Never Forgets.
Smiles.
No Certainty.
Always A Meaning.
Housewives Mask.
Tearless Pains.
Oldest Child.
Butterfly Family.
No Sympathy.
Enough To Survive.
Seeking Adventure.
Chasing Dreams.
Un-Eager Normality.
Chaos.
Lovers Accident.
First Experience.
Optionally Loud.
Subtly Silent.
Extra Ordinary.
Extra Simplicity.
Bitter Sweet Tears.
Sacrificial Lamb.
Ivy Memories.
Shoebox.
A Beautiful Escape.
Dream Sequences.
My Imagination.
My Creations.
Pandora's Box.
Fate.
Undefined.
Fortunate.
Talonless Eagles.
Cryptic.
Future Saint.
Good Person.
Sensitive.
Unaffected.
Honoured.
Dignified.
Companion In Pain.
Noter Of Laughs.
Selective Listener.
Necessary Hypocrite.
Always Here.
Love.
Momentless.
Boundaries.
Tragedy Joys.
Others Positive.
Unrealistic Hopes.
Will Power.
Basic Display.
Interesting Meaning.
31/5/1992
Read As One
It's All Me
Optimistic.
Empathetic.
Intelligent.
Creative.
Spontaneous.
Opinionated.
Thinker.
Stranger.
Listener.
Random.
Believes In Chance.
Collects Information.
Never Forgets.
Smiles.
No Certainty.
Always A Meaning.
Housewives Mask.
Tearless Pains.
Oldest Child.
Butterfly Family.
No Sympathy.
Enough To Survive.
Seeking Adventure.
Chasing Dreams.
Un-Eager Normality.
Chaos.
Lovers Accident.
First Experience.
Optionally Loud.
Subtly Silent.
Extra Ordinary.
Extra Simplicity.
Bitter Sweet Tears.
Sacrificial Lamb.
Ivy Memories.
Shoebox.
A Beautiful Escape.
Dream Sequences.
My Imagination.
My Creations.
Pandora's Box.
Fate.
Undefined.
Fortunate.
Talonless Eagles.
Cryptic.
Future Saint.
Good Person.
Sensitive.
Unaffected.
Honoured.
Dignified.
Companion In Pain.
Noter Of Laughs.
Selective Listener.
Necessary Hypocrite.
Always Here.
Love.
Momentless.
Boundaries.
Tragedy Joys.
Others Positive.
Unrealistic Hopes.
Will Power.
Basic Display.
Interesting Meaning.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Tragedies Surrounding Nurse Roberts
I cried today.
Well, not really. But kinda.
I was watching scrubs, yes, scrubs, and well, it got incredibly sad. There was some awesome acting, and it made my eyes water to the extreme. So much so, that at the corner of my right eye, a little sack of held emotions just popped out a little. It didn't quite get to the point where it fell and went down my cheek, as I was so desperately wanting, but it was a tear. Sitting there, on my eye.
I am in some ways, happy with my little stint of emotions. It was quite gripping. Saddening.
Nothing around me is quite gripping or saddening enough to cause me to cry, but that doesn't take from the significance of the tear itself. Its a significant development in my emotional stability. Some people may not understand, and think I am being ridiculous, but I would just simply say, read my blog titled, I Can't Cry, one of my first blogs. To the rest of you, I would say something along the lines of, My god, this is quite a development, huh. LOL.
Ave Maria
xx
Well, not really. But kinda.
I was watching scrubs, yes, scrubs, and well, it got incredibly sad. There was some awesome acting, and it made my eyes water to the extreme. So much so, that at the corner of my right eye, a little sack of held emotions just popped out a little. It didn't quite get to the point where it fell and went down my cheek, as I was so desperately wanting, but it was a tear. Sitting there, on my eye.
I am in some ways, happy with my little stint of emotions. It was quite gripping. Saddening.
Nothing around me is quite gripping or saddening enough to cause me to cry, but that doesn't take from the significance of the tear itself. Its a significant development in my emotional stability. Some people may not understand, and think I am being ridiculous, but I would just simply say, read my blog titled, I Can't Cry, one of my first blogs. To the rest of you, I would say something along the lines of, My god, this is quite a development, huh. LOL.
Ave Maria
xx
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Next To Travel
I am sick of people who complain about everything that is going on in there life, but never do anything about it. Yes, that does mean I am sick of myself. The people who will storm around, but never help themselves. The people who will list the reasons why everything is crap, but not a single suggestion as to what they can do.
I realize that people would have there defenses to why they can't seem to be able to just help themselves. But from an outsiders perspective I am tired of all these self caused complaints.
I also realize that I am getting harsher with my moans and groans.
I respect that people can't always solve a problem on there own, but I also respect more, those people who atleast try to do what they can for themselves. The people who don't give excuses, but rather just move on. The people who make an effort to do the thing they were just hoping would fix itself.
Self help, my new frontier.
xx
I realize that people would have there defenses to why they can't seem to be able to just help themselves. But from an outsiders perspective I am tired of all these self caused complaints.
I also realize that I am getting harsher with my moans and groans.
I respect that people can't always solve a problem on there own, but I also respect more, those people who atleast try to do what they can for themselves. The people who don't give excuses, but rather just move on. The people who make an effort to do the thing they were just hoping would fix itself.
Self help, my new frontier.
xx
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Secret Video Taping Of The Public
A thought came across my mind, as I was looking at PostSecret. I hadn't took a look at it in quite a while, but tonight I did. It got me thinking, as I am sure many others have done before, about all the secrets people keep.
Secrets are those little things, that left untouched can either become nothing, or become everything. I just wonder what everyones secrets are, and what there significance is. Whether they are nothing, or everything. Most peoples secrets are everything to them, but probably not to anyone else. Some secrets, are secret because they need to be kept secret.
I'd wonder how peoples secrets affect them. What they are? Why they are still secret? Who, if anyone, knows? You know, all the questioned you would be likely to ask, if confronted with the issue of a secret.
I respect peoples capacity to keep secrets, and that they don't all need to be told. A story can be kept in the minds of the witnesses and participants. Secret hopes, dreams and wishes. Secret memories and events.
The mask that hides the biggest secret of all. Who are you?
xx
I'd wonder how peoples secrets affect them. What they are? Why they are still secret? Who, if anyone, knows? You know, all the questioned you would be likely to ask, if confronted with the issue of a secret.
I respect peoples capacity to keep secrets, and that they don't all need to be told. A story can be kept in the minds of the witnesses and participants. Secret hopes, dreams and wishes. Secret memories and events.
The mask that hides the biggest secret of all. Who are you?
xx
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Judge ME, Not US.
My latest topic of thought, has been that of Loneliness. Yep. It's one of those feelings, that I have experienced enough of in my 16 years.
Oh wow, I'm 16. When did that happen.
Anyways. Yeh. Loneliness.
In all its forms. In all its glory (cliche, gah).
I'm losing my flow of this post. I think its because I am also looking through a collection of photos, from what must have been a very incoherent party, with a lot of mistakes and sex. Wow, the expectations of drink and drugs. Why would that be the way people wish to spend there time together. Throwing up and falling over. Whoopi, sign me up for the train wreck to burger boy and check out chick.
Is that what we have to do. Whore our selves out to conformity, and enjoy nights of superficial stupidity and narcotic epilepsy, just so we can feel like we are apart of something. I'd prefer a life with 27 cats, than one where I need to look like salvos just blow up on me and I am constantly after dick.
Sorry, but vulgarity seems necessary, because it seems like the world is constantly just trying to push there agendas on you, and the only way to finalize that bit of rebellion was to lay it out plain and simple. I understand that it is in our nature to try and make everyone the same. Face it, we like it much better when we can organize things, and we would much prefer it if everyone just fitted into the same group. That group being people who are exactly like us.
So then we come across Social Stereotypes, my greatest pet hate. I know it is cliche of me to say, what many gay man before has said, but I hate Labels, Stereotypes and Categorized Opinions (and also the way my spell check keeps telling em to put 'z' instead of 's'). The sad thing is, we strive as a race on the up keeping of stereotypes. Comedy wouldn't survive without them. But that doesn't mean we can't try.
Oh, what am I kidding. Of course people are still going to keep judging others on there perceptions of what they think a person is meant to be like, defined by what group, race, orientation, up bringing, religion, sex, age, style, education, wealth, opinion and appearance. It just shits me off. That a persons opinion of someone, might change, because of pieces of information that they didn't previously know.
But anyways, back to Loneliness.
I got a phone call from my grandparents today. I haven't spoke to them in ages, it was really nice. Reminded me of the fact that I still have people out there, that do not see me everyday, but still think of me. Family. They're good people.
I want someone to think about. Someone I can have in my head. Someone I can think about how much they love me. Someone who is not here for me right now. I am not being selfish, I am just pining for the thing that everyone else seems to have. I am surround by people who can look over to someone, and have them gaze back. People who can spend hours on end with just one another looking at each other and talking about how much they love each other.
I was reminded last night, that I have actually been in a fair few relationships. Each of varying lengths. Each with there own memories and mementos. Considering I don't try my best to look desperate enough to be taken pity on, or I don't spend long times pining for specific people to come my way. I guess you could say I have been quite lucky, if you really want to think of it like that, but don't let me remind you, that I am not in those relationships anymore.
Ah, I don't know. I don't feel attractive enough to be putting myself out there, but I don't feel like my personality is that flaw that its not worth trying. I am in a rut. One that is neither enjoyable, nor painful. Just, a rut.
For now, I shall keep experimenting with what I can look like. Like my spectacle/beanie/random shirt ensemble that I put on for youth last night. Also, the blow drying and straightening (although I couldn't see through my fringe, so the beanie was needed) of my hair. Again, I question the notion of dyeing it. I'm no longer entertained by the fact of forcing myself to do it for charity. Plus, by dyeing my hair, I just mean a simple natural colour, not an over the top explosion of shades, tones and acrylic colours.
I believe I could be losing weight, or I could be delusioned and really be getting fatter. Either way I don't care. No, actually I do, but I move on.
Things are looking up.
xx
Oh wow, I'm 16. When did that happen.
Anyways. Yeh. Loneliness.
In all its forms. In all its glory (cliche, gah).
I'm losing my flow of this post. I think its because I am also looking through a collection of photos, from what must have been a very incoherent party, with a lot of mistakes and sex. Wow, the expectations of drink and drugs. Why would that be the way people wish to spend there time together. Throwing up and falling over. Whoopi, sign me up for the train wreck to burger boy and check out chick.
Is that what we have to do. Whore our selves out to conformity, and enjoy nights of superficial stupidity and narcotic epilepsy, just so we can feel like we are apart of something. I'd prefer a life with 27 cats, than one where I need to look like salvos just blow up on me and I am constantly after dick.
Sorry, but vulgarity seems necessary, because it seems like the world is constantly just trying to push there agendas on you, and the only way to finalize that bit of rebellion was to lay it out plain and simple. I understand that it is in our nature to try and make everyone the same. Face it, we like it much better when we can organize things, and we would much prefer it if everyone just fitted into the same group. That group being people who are exactly like us.
So then we come across Social Stereotypes, my greatest pet hate. I know it is cliche of me to say, what many gay man before has said, but I hate Labels, Stereotypes and Categorized Opinions (and also the way my spell check keeps telling em to put 'z' instead of 's'). The sad thing is, we strive as a race on the up keeping of stereotypes. Comedy wouldn't survive without them. But that doesn't mean we can't try.
Oh, what am I kidding. Of course people are still going to keep judging others on there perceptions of what they think a person is meant to be like, defined by what group, race, orientation, up bringing, religion, sex, age, style, education, wealth, opinion and appearance. It just shits me off. That a persons opinion of someone, might change, because of pieces of information that they didn't previously know.
But anyways, back to Loneliness.
I got a phone call from my grandparents today. I haven't spoke to them in ages, it was really nice. Reminded me of the fact that I still have people out there, that do not see me everyday, but still think of me. Family. They're good people.
I want someone to think about. Someone I can have in my head. Someone I can think about how much they love me. Someone who is not here for me right now. I am not being selfish, I am just pining for the thing that everyone else seems to have. I am surround by people who can look over to someone, and have them gaze back. People who can spend hours on end with just one another looking at each other and talking about how much they love each other.
I was reminded last night, that I have actually been in a fair few relationships. Each of varying lengths. Each with there own memories and mementos. Considering I don't try my best to look desperate enough to be taken pity on, or I don't spend long times pining for specific people to come my way. I guess you could say I have been quite lucky, if you really want to think of it like that, but don't let me remind you, that I am not in those relationships anymore.
Ah, I don't know. I don't feel attractive enough to be putting myself out there, but I don't feel like my personality is that flaw that its not worth trying. I am in a rut. One that is neither enjoyable, nor painful. Just, a rut.
For now, I shall keep experimenting with what I can look like. Like my spectacle/beanie/random shirt ensemble that I put on for youth last night. Also, the blow drying and straightening (although I couldn't see through my fringe, so the beanie was needed) of my hair. Again, I question the notion of dyeing it. I'm no longer entertained by the fact of forcing myself to do it for charity. Plus, by dyeing my hair, I just mean a simple natural colour, not an over the top explosion of shades, tones and acrylic colours.
I believe I could be losing weight, or I could be delusioned and really be getting fatter. Either way I don't care. No, actually I do, but I move on.
Things are looking up.
xx
Small Thought
Oh, its raining. Or someone is hosing my house. No, no, its definitely rain.
I'm home alone right now. Just sitting here, listening to the TV in the background. I can;t handle a quiet home.
Hmm, I want to cry.
and, I don't know why.
xx
I'm home alone right now. Just sitting here, listening to the TV in the background. I can;t handle a quiet home.
Hmm, I want to cry.
and, I don't know why.
xx
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The Mirror Is Kinder In The Dark
My day was slow, and lacking in stimulus. LOL, stimulus. Dam Americans and their 'ness' and their spelling.
Anyways.
I successfully asked for help today. It should help, hopefully. That would be the point. But I mean, more than just the help itself, but rather, help make other things more controlled and such. I know what i mean, so its all good.
I'm in a strange mood. I feel as though I have accomplished something, even though people do stuff like this all the time, and don't really get any recognition for it. But I'm not sure if you realize how slack I really am. Also, how stubborn I am about asking for help. It is quite a big moment today.
Yep well, Finger crossed for some success.
xx
Anyways.
I successfully asked for help today. It should help, hopefully. That would be the point. But I mean, more than just the help itself, but rather, help make other things more controlled and such. I know what i mean, so its all good.
I'm in a strange mood. I feel as though I have accomplished something, even though people do stuff like this all the time, and don't really get any recognition for it. But I'm not sure if you realize how slack I really am. Also, how stubborn I am about asking for help. It is quite a big moment today.
Yep well, Finger crossed for some success.
xx
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
All I Wanted To Do Was Make A Sandwhich
I hate people.
People are selfish, spiteful, self centered, greedy, vane, bitches, whores, bastards, fascists, racists, sexists, sadists, controlling, domineering, discriminative, angry, stupid, arrogant, small minded, ignorant, blinkered, spoilt, pathetic, spineless, useless, pointless, full of shit, oblivious, idiots, biased, judgmental, wrong and they don't care.
People and all there shit, can go fuck themselves, I am sick of everyone and there crap.
Those of you with you opinions, that you try to force on to people, try and make sure you know what you are talking about. God, you people piss me off.
Go Fuck A Lemon.
xx
People are selfish, spiteful, self centered, greedy, vane, bitches, whores, bastards, fascists, racists, sexists, sadists, controlling, domineering, discriminative, angry, stupid, arrogant, small minded, ignorant, blinkered, spoilt, pathetic, spineless, useless, pointless, full of shit, oblivious, idiots, biased, judgmental, wrong and they don't care.
People and all there shit, can go fuck themselves, I am sick of everyone and there crap.
Those of you with you opinions, that you try to force on to people, try and make sure you know what you are talking about. God, you people piss me off.
Go Fuck A Lemon.
xx
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
'Am I A Crazy Man, Or A Man At All'
I've been downloading stuff. Music and Movies.
I am now in love with Duffy. YUP. She is cool.
I am also in the midst of watching 'The Spirit', a real cool graphic novel movie thing, like Sin City.
mm.
Yep, people don't care. Self Self Self. Sure, including me. But self all the same.
The ones who didn't care won't care in the end.
Ah well.
So, loneliness. That seems to be a theme that keeps charging at me. I feel very lonely, a lot of the time. Not that I ain't trying, its just the situations that I find myself, with the people I want to be around. Well, nothing no one can do to help, so my issue, I'll live with it.
Stuck up enough for you. Honesty.
Arrogance makes you a saint.
Remember that Shirley.
xx
I am now in love with Duffy. YUP. She is cool.
I am also in the midst of watching 'The Spirit', a real cool graphic novel movie thing, like Sin City.
mm.
Yep, people don't care. Self Self Self. Sure, including me. But self all the same.
The ones who didn't care won't care in the end.
Ah well.
So, loneliness. That seems to be a theme that keeps charging at me. I feel very lonely, a lot of the time. Not that I ain't trying, its just the situations that I find myself, with the people I want to be around. Well, nothing no one can do to help, so my issue, I'll live with it.
Stuck up enough for you. Honesty.
Arrogance makes you a saint.
Remember that Shirley.
xx
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Justification Is Not Prove That Its Right
People are disappointing me. Yes, disappointing me. Not that they are trying to impress me, its just I had hoped of something more. Or something that doesn't make me angry, or cringe, or just plain pissed.
Guilt Trippers and the Impossible.
People who are so blatantly only thinking of themselves.
There's someone out there, who deserves it so much. Who is punishing themselves. But I say, what gives them the right to be the one to punish. Nothing does. They hurt someone, they should let the universe take control and punish them. But no, self punishment now means that you have all right to blame the other person for the way you feel, even tho it is there own fault. No, you don't get that right. You cheated, you didn't follow the rules, so now you don't get to decide how the rest of the game is played. So let people move on.
Then there are those people, who pile the guilt onto another, just because they are finally moving on. You broke them, so let them be fixed. Even if you aren't the one doing the fixing. Don't try and break them anymore. For crying out loud, you have lost your chance, and its know ones fault but your own. Don't make it there fault, its your fault. So move on, as you aren't letting them too. You want to be friends, then start acting like one. Or atleast stop making excuses for your own faults.
Then, you arrogant pricks out there, who just don't care, period.
Also, the ignorant bastards who can't look past there own nose, you people make me want to knock down old ladies and punch babies in the face. Good god.
GAH.
People piss me off. Because they are so utterly in the wrong, but can't see it.
There are also those people out there, who are right to feel the way they feel, and right to say what they have to say, but are still talking out there arse. Feeding us a line of bullshit, just to justifiy there own indiscretions. The people, who will explain, with all there being the feeling and emotions that goes into doing something so terrible. The people who will believe that everything they are doing is fine. Or they will know that it isn't and still go on and try to rationalise something that would disgust most.
I also feel very disrespected by those who can't just be honest. The people who will make up some outrageous lie, just to 'save you from feeling hurt'. People who feed you some crap, just to save there own conscience from feeling the guilt. What I hate more than someone who can't just be honest, is a very bad liar. I just hate it, be straight with me. The bullshit just makes me angry and upset. So honesty please.
Gah.
Ok, so I have had a rant. People are pissing me off, and so I thought I would just get it all off my chest. Some of this doesn't have any real connection to me, but its just the way people areand how I feel about it, and I thought it was worth mentioning. Most is not about anyone in particular, infact I never had any single person in mind throughout each portion.
But yeh. There are people I still love dearly. But tonight, I felt like getting rid of some anger.
Love Love xx
Guilt Trippers and the Impossible.
People who are so blatantly only thinking of themselves.
There's someone out there, who deserves it so much. Who is punishing themselves. But I say, what gives them the right to be the one to punish. Nothing does. They hurt someone, they should let the universe take control and punish them. But no, self punishment now means that you have all right to blame the other person for the way you feel, even tho it is there own fault. No, you don't get that right. You cheated, you didn't follow the rules, so now you don't get to decide how the rest of the game is played. So let people move on.
Then there are those people, who pile the guilt onto another, just because they are finally moving on. You broke them, so let them be fixed. Even if you aren't the one doing the fixing. Don't try and break them anymore. For crying out loud, you have lost your chance, and its know ones fault but your own. Don't make it there fault, its your fault. So move on, as you aren't letting them too. You want to be friends, then start acting like one. Or atleast stop making excuses for your own faults.
Then, you arrogant pricks out there, who just don't care, period.
Also, the ignorant bastards who can't look past there own nose, you people make me want to knock down old ladies and punch babies in the face. Good god.
GAH.
People piss me off. Because they are so utterly in the wrong, but can't see it.
There are also those people out there, who are right to feel the way they feel, and right to say what they have to say, but are still talking out there arse. Feeding us a line of bullshit, just to justifiy there own indiscretions. The people, who will explain, with all there being the feeling and emotions that goes into doing something so terrible. The people who will believe that everything they are doing is fine. Or they will know that it isn't and still go on and try to rationalise something that would disgust most.
I also feel very disrespected by those who can't just be honest. The people who will make up some outrageous lie, just to 'save you from feeling hurt'. People who feed you some crap, just to save there own conscience from feeling the guilt. What I hate more than someone who can't just be honest, is a very bad liar. I just hate it, be straight with me. The bullshit just makes me angry and upset. So honesty please.
Gah.
Ok, so I have had a rant. People are pissing me off, and so I thought I would just get it all off my chest. Some of this doesn't have any real connection to me, but its just the way people areand how I feel about it, and I thought it was worth mentioning. Most is not about anyone in particular, infact I never had any single person in mind throughout each portion.
But yeh. There are people I still love dearly. But tonight, I felt like getting rid of some anger.
Love Love xx
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Attatched To A Mad Mans Wallet
I am good. Trailing along.
I duno, I felt like blogging, but I never have anything I feel like saying.
Probably is a good thing, means either things are getting better, or I am becoming better at expressing whats wrong, or such. Either works.
I am very tired.
wow, myspace is weird.
I need some nice new music to listen to. Something relaxing and sweet and stuff.
hhmm.
Sometimes I really hate people.
The people who are talking out there arse. Good god, they annoy the crap out of me. Those selfish people, with all the answers. Gah. Guilt trippers. I hate, guilt trippers. They take the cake for annoying me. Using other peoples good sides against them. How low do you need to go. Or even, those people who push the blame onto somebody else. they rightly piss me off.
I am not that angry, but i am tired and irritable. Plus, there are certain things that can get me rallied up.
I had a real point that I actually was trying to reach, but I can't remember what that was. or do i. .. No, I really can't.
I think i would like some universal happiness. No selling of children for the sex industry. No penniless baggars starving in the middle of cities. No backyard human butcher shops. No alcoholic dad, slapping up his wife, infront of his kids. Gah.
I want to be a superhero. That would be fun. To an extent. Otherwise, it would be very up lifting, to have done something good.
I could ramble some more. But I am tired.
Love Love xx
I duno, I felt like blogging, but I never have anything I feel like saying.
Probably is a good thing, means either things are getting better, or I am becoming better at expressing whats wrong, or such. Either works.
I am very tired.
wow, myspace is weird.
I need some nice new music to listen to. Something relaxing and sweet and stuff.
hhmm.
Sometimes I really hate people.
The people who are talking out there arse. Good god, they annoy the crap out of me. Those selfish people, with all the answers. Gah. Guilt trippers. I hate, guilt trippers. They take the cake for annoying me. Using other peoples good sides against them. How low do you need to go. Or even, those people who push the blame onto somebody else. they rightly piss me off.
I am not that angry, but i am tired and irritable. Plus, there are certain things that can get me rallied up.
I had a real point that I actually was trying to reach, but I can't remember what that was. or do i. .. No, I really can't.
I think i would like some universal happiness. No selling of children for the sex industry. No penniless baggars starving in the middle of cities. No backyard human butcher shops. No alcoholic dad, slapping up his wife, infront of his kids. Gah.
I want to be a superhero. That would be fun. To an extent. Otherwise, it would be very up lifting, to have done something good.
I could ramble some more. But I am tired.
Love Love xx
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Licorice Batteries
I don't fit in with everyone, so I have found new ones to fit in with.
Mmmm.
I'm unsure of whether I should be happy, or upset.
Ah, well. I will just have to try again.
:(
Love Love xx
Mmmm.
I'm unsure of whether I should be happy, or upset.
Ah, well. I will just have to try again.
:(
Love Love xx
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Pursuit
I haven't blogged for a while. Well, its felt like a while. But I don't have much to say, or much I feel I need to talk to myself about.
I feel happy, and comfortable with everything.
So yeh.
If anyone wants someone to talk to, give me a bell.
It could only make me happier, atm.
Love Love xx
I feel happy, and comfortable with everything.
So yeh.
If anyone wants someone to talk to, give me a bell.
It could only make me happier, atm.
Love Love xx
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Pre-Pubescent Cleavage Shots
My sister is growing up. Fast.
I hope she listened to what me and my mum had to say.
I hope she didn't take it badly, or like we were ganging up on her.
I do love her.
Love Love xx
I hope she listened to what me and my mum had to say.
I hope she didn't take it badly, or like we were ganging up on her.
I do love her.
Love Love xx
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
We Would Love You If You Were Gay, Blind or Retarded, But You're Not.
I surround myself with fake emotions. No, not fake. 'Fakely generated' emotions. By this I mean, the emotions generated by TV and Movies.
I treat myself as a character. Keeping in emotions until there comes a time when it can be used for a climactic event, or otherwise over MSN, but more often than not, I am waiting.
Still waiting in fact. I am a terrible person, for setting expectation or standards, that I shall for fill but no one else will. Mainly because they don't realize that I have been trying to display the standard or expectation that I have set everyone and myself.
Usually I take things too, to heart. So I set the standard, and then expect everyone else to just understand and follow. But when people don't, I take it as them purposely out to get me. So sometimes, just sometimes, I get overly paranoid by everyone.
That has actually only happened a few times. The whole, forming standards and no one really following, because they don't realize it has been set, and so then me in my own mind believing that no one cares and such and that no one cares for my opinon and everyone just is out to try and put me down.
This wasn't really my point, but eh.
Love Love xx
P.S. My post name, is a Family Guy quote, that I laughed at, for its subtle message. It was directed at Meg, if that clears things up. :P
Monday, February 16, 2009
Me and My Pimplets.
I think this suit looks quite amazingly cool. Of course, it is a pimp's suit. But as me and Kristen discussed, I am a pimp, and I have my little Pimplets. :P.
Anyways, moving on.
I have, what I am dubbing a 'Glanced Crush', on a little kid. A glanced crush, meaning, I know the person through other people. Have never had a proper conversation with that person, and as of yet, don't actually know anything of much value of this person. Also, its not quite a little kid, but rather a younger kid, a younger version of an older kid, you might say.
I often Glance Crush. I consider a person as an option, and allow the thought to mingle in my mind for a while, then I will smoothly move on to someone else. It affects no one. Therefore, I continue this trend. Until, the glance becomes a stare, or otherwise is completely forgotten.
A companion. That's what I reckon I need. More of a companion. A 3 hour texting buddy. Long winded MSN conversations that drag on for days. Unlike, what I keep getting now.
I am still working on my Slimming. Thanks to a dear friend. But I have been finding it harder than I expected, and actually expectantly indulged. I shall explain to my helper tomorrow, and see if there is anything that can be done to help.
'Strength comes from those who are willing to admit they need help.'
A white suit would be awesome. Like with black stripes. A bit thicker than pin stripes. That's what I would love to wear to formal, something like that. It would be fun to dress up so oddly. In something I like.
'You could have a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye but only a true best friend knows you're about to cry'
That was the little under message thing on my 'little year 9 friend' Holly's MSN name. I thought it was sweet, and incredibly true. But also very hard to follow as s standard. As my experience tells, most people would adore to feel like another person can tell exactly when another is upset, but it generally just plays out, that they need to be told, or otherwise never know. That's some of my experiences on that. But I still find it sweet.
I think I may have changed the mood of this blog. Moving on. Oh, I don't think I have anything I feel I need to add.
Love Love xx
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Carnival of Peace
All we have is hope.
Maybe one day we will al stop killing each other.
We will stop torturing little children.
We will try to help.
At the moment, all we have is the hope, that the human spirit will be strong enough.
Love Love xx
Maybe one day we will al stop killing each other.
We will stop torturing little children.
We will try to help.
At the moment, all we have is the hope, that the human spirit will be strong enough.
Love Love xx
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Super Golden Spoon
Lets consider this.
You are hurt in some way. In pain. Somethings up, and you have no one to talk to.
I want you to consider, who do you want to talk to. Who is the person you want to talk to. Who is the person you need.
Right.
Now, you don't have that person. You don't have your second choice, or even you somewhat unreliable third choice. So what do you do.
Most people would say, well I would just ask for anyone's help by then.
But would you, would you really.
On most accounts, once they got passed there list of options, that usually doesn't stretch realistically that long, most people give up, and no longer mention it again, or hold it in til the moment comes when they can tell their first.
If people realistically just wanted the comfort of anybody, then they would be open enough to tell the first person that honestly cares, most especially if it was a person who was none of there choices. There is always this person, who is never asked upon or considered. But sticks around just to make someone smile.
That person, I call the consolation prize.
The person, who throughout all that goes on, will be there when no one else will. But isn't the person you want. You've been gunning for gold, but your stuck with a wooden spoon.
Now this person, does all the right things. Is there at crucial moments. Comforts. Holds. Listens. Actually cares. But in the end, the point of this person is to simply just console, for that short amount of time that this person is necessary. So this person gets thrown away. Traded back in for that initial prize of gold, or maybe even just a prettier spoon.
Those of you out there, know exactly who these consolation prizes are, and they probably know that they are one as well. Its just the way the system works as all.
Maybe you will notice it more now.
Love Love xx
You are hurt in some way. In pain. Somethings up, and you have no one to talk to.
I want you to consider, who do you want to talk to. Who is the person you want to talk to. Who is the person you need.
Right.
Now, you don't have that person. You don't have your second choice, or even you somewhat unreliable third choice. So what do you do.
Most people would say, well I would just ask for anyone's help by then.
But would you, would you really.
On most accounts, once they got passed there list of options, that usually doesn't stretch realistically that long, most people give up, and no longer mention it again, or hold it in til the moment comes when they can tell their first.
If people realistically just wanted the comfort of anybody, then they would be open enough to tell the first person that honestly cares, most especially if it was a person who was none of there choices. There is always this person, who is never asked upon or considered. But sticks around just to make someone smile.
That person, I call the consolation prize.
The person, who throughout all that goes on, will be there when no one else will. But isn't the person you want. You've been gunning for gold, but your stuck with a wooden spoon.
Now this person, does all the right things. Is there at crucial moments. Comforts. Holds. Listens. Actually cares. But in the end, the point of this person is to simply just console, for that short amount of time that this person is necessary. So this person gets thrown away. Traded back in for that initial prize of gold, or maybe even just a prettier spoon.
Those of you out there, know exactly who these consolation prizes are, and they probably know that they are one as well. Its just the way the system works as all.
Maybe you will notice it more now.
Love Love xx
Joker Beats Ace
'Satire Is A Lesson, Parody Is A Game'
I have officially applied for my Citizenship. YAY. Just waiting for a letter from Canberra to make it all official and stuff, because I successfully answered the 2 questions I needed to for my Interview. They will tell me when I am doing my ceremony and all that, which will be cool, I would like people to come and see.
My parents passed the test thing. My dad got 19/20 and my mum got 17/20. It was all pretty simple stuff, but a lot of it, I would be surprised if many Australians knew about it. :P
On the other side of things, one of our close English families is being deported. Its quite tragic really. They have been living here for 3 years, and gained new lives here, and they got declined for there visa, and so now have to go back to England. I could explain in more detail, but its not really my place to discuss.
To all of us, it doesn't really make much sense, and my mum is especially quite saddened by the whole thing.
Well, I don't know quite how to connect what I really wanted to talk about, with the rest of this post, so I am going to leave it here.
Love Love xx
I have officially applied for my Citizenship. YAY. Just waiting for a letter from Canberra to make it all official and stuff, because I successfully answered the 2 questions I needed to for my Interview. They will tell me when I am doing my ceremony and all that, which will be cool, I would like people to come and see.
My parents passed the test thing. My dad got 19/20 and my mum got 17/20. It was all pretty simple stuff, but a lot of it, I would be surprised if many Australians knew about it. :P
On the other side of things, one of our close English families is being deported. Its quite tragic really. They have been living here for 3 years, and gained new lives here, and they got declined for there visa, and so now have to go back to England. I could explain in more detail, but its not really my place to discuss.
To all of us, it doesn't really make much sense, and my mum is especially quite saddened by the whole thing.
Well, I don't know quite how to connect what I really wanted to talk about, with the rest of this post, so I am going to leave it here.
Love Love xx
Thursday, February 12, 2009
In Print
A smile maybe a smile in the day time, but when I come home, all I remember is the secret tears that were hidden behind it.
I need help.
and thank you.
I need someone to listen to me.
To want to listen to everything and anything I NEED to talk about.
Because, right now I am losing my mind. I feel alone. I hopelessly hold on to whatever I have left.
Someone please just sit down with me.
Love Love xx
I need help.
and thank you.
I need someone to listen to me.
To want to listen to everything and anything I NEED to talk about.
Because, right now I am losing my mind. I feel alone. I hopelessly hold on to whatever I have left.
Someone please just sit down with me.
Love Love xx
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My Silent Musical
I'm singing to myself.
I've been snacking. I can't properly starve myself, can I. Good god, I don't know whats going on anymore.
So I am now sitting hear, singing to myself, because now one hear to listen.
I am singing about more, than you might ever understand.
But no one, wants to hear my song.
So I, am singing to myself. All about my situations and my soul.
I don't need another person, to not even come up and say its OK. I just need someone, to listen to my dismay.
I could cry, if I could only.
I just hope someone is listening to me now.
Love Love xx
I've been snacking. I can't properly starve myself, can I. Good god, I don't know whats going on anymore.
So I am now sitting hear, singing to myself, because now one hear to listen.
I am singing about more, than you might ever understand.
But no one, wants to hear my song.
So I, am singing to myself. All about my situations and my soul.
I don't need another person, to not even come up and say its OK. I just need someone, to listen to my dismay.
I could cry, if I could only.
I just hope someone is listening to me now.
Love Love xx
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Wanted That Grammy
I like being by myself sometimes. It's relaxing and gentle. It helps me to just, I don't know, simplify.
It just never lasts.
So, I am now not relaxed and gentle, or feel that everything is simpler.
I have not eaten properly for the past 2 days.
I think I am losing my mind.
I want someone to just willingly give me a hug.
Love Love xx
It just never lasts.
So, I am now not relaxed and gentle, or feel that everything is simpler.
I have not eaten properly for the past 2 days.
I think I am losing my mind.
I want someone to just willingly give me a hug.
Love Love xx
Monday, February 9, 2009
Couples Couples Everywhere, But No Where To Park My Car
My god, there is an infestation of couples.
I think cupid is trying to complete his quota before valentines day.
Its just madness.
But it's OK. It's fair enough of people. I understand, and am fine with it.
F&^K S$#T P@$S C%&T
LOL, jokes.
But anyways.
I am deprived.
Ah well.
Love Love xx
I think cupid is trying to complete his quota before valentines day.
Its just madness.
But it's OK. It's fair enough of people. I understand, and am fine with it.
F&^K S$#T P@$S C%&T
LOL, jokes.
But anyways.
I am deprived.
Ah well.
Love Love xx
Rich Angels
I just watched 'The Secret Millionaire', a TV show, on the lifestyle channel, OMG, it is the most emotionally driven show ever.
The basic idea fo the show, is that these rich British millionaires. Enter themselves into the slums of Britain, learn all about the people and there struggles. Then after spending 10 days looking at all the charitable stuff all these everyday people are trying to do. The millionaire gives them a large amount of money to help them out some more.
My god, it was just the most brilliant thing I have ever seen.
I cried. To an extent.
It was just something really nice and uplifting to watch. By the end, you just want to cry and hug everyone you know. I don't know, I just enjoyed it.
Love Love xx
The basic idea fo the show, is that these rich British millionaires. Enter themselves into the slums of Britain, learn all about the people and there struggles. Then after spending 10 days looking at all the charitable stuff all these everyday people are trying to do. The millionaire gives them a large amount of money to help them out some more.
My god, it was just the most brilliant thing I have ever seen.
I cried. To an extent.
It was just something really nice and uplifting to watch. By the end, you just want to cry and hug everyone you know. I don't know, I just enjoyed it.
Love Love xx
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Ninety Nine Red Baloons
Anarchism.
So, I am not satisfied with myself. Neither with anything that is around me. Unimpressive. Cellophane.
I lost my flow, and my point.
I am unsure of everything.
Love Love xx
So, I am not satisfied with myself. Neither with anything that is around me. Unimpressive. Cellophane.
I lost my flow, and my point.
I am unsure of everything.
Love Love xx
Its Not Love, If No One Cares
They say, that your first love, sets the bar for all your proceeding loves. That what happens first, controls what happens next.
Considering that. This is where my concern lies.
I feel no more attraction to love. That is not what I desire. Not love. But, I desire a relationship. Some form of relationship. One between 2 people, but not necessarily 'love'.
Now, some may not understand. The rest.
I was in a relationship, one that some may not know about. But one that lasted its time. One that set some different boundaries on what is necessary in a relationship. Simply, this relationship worked its way to new levels of interaction.
Now, I shall never openly admit to loving, but a rather overly strong connection, was met. A standard was also met. The standard, that when we were alone, we get close, very close.
Since that relationship has ended, in its ways, there is only one thing I miss. Not the person. Not the personality. Not the funny stories. Not the time spent listening to music. But rather the moments where we got as close as could be.
I am angry with myself. I feel terrible. Its terrible. The feeling, that that feeling, is what I want back.
That now, when I try to find myself a new relationship, that is the bit I am searching for. That is the piece that I desire from them. That is MY standard.
A void of innocence has been ripped from me.
What can I do? I don't want to be that kind of person. I am not that kind of person.
I know who has done this to me. Maybe they can help. Haven't seen them since before we broke up.
I need help.
Love Love xx
Considering that. This is where my concern lies.
I feel no more attraction to love. That is not what I desire. Not love. But, I desire a relationship. Some form of relationship. One between 2 people, but not necessarily 'love'.
Now, some may not understand. The rest.
I was in a relationship, one that some may not know about. But one that lasted its time. One that set some different boundaries on what is necessary in a relationship. Simply, this relationship worked its way to new levels of interaction.
Now, I shall never openly admit to loving, but a rather overly strong connection, was met. A standard was also met. The standard, that when we were alone, we get close, very close.
Since that relationship has ended, in its ways, there is only one thing I miss. Not the person. Not the personality. Not the funny stories. Not the time spent listening to music. But rather the moments where we got as close as could be.
I am angry with myself. I feel terrible. Its terrible. The feeling, that that feeling, is what I want back.
That now, when I try to find myself a new relationship, that is the bit I am searching for. That is the piece that I desire from them. That is MY standard.
A void of innocence has been ripped from me.
What can I do? I don't want to be that kind of person. I am not that kind of person.
I know who has done this to me. Maybe they can help. Haven't seen them since before we broke up.
I need help.
Love Love xx
May Rainbows Fill Your Dreams.
Its Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
I knew that. I witnessed that. I allowed it to happen.
I became a wolf in sheep clothing. Introducing a need to change. That someone needed to become something they weren't. For the sake of others.
Not who I should of been. For the sake of others. I was not what I wanted.
Not fair. Not right. Not deserved. Not how it should have been handled.
I am sorry.
I KNOW it is hard. I KNOW, how hard it is. How utterly difficult it is. The pain. The mask. The extra tortures that can be added to the mix. The loss. The feeling that the hurt will last an eternity. The next day. That day. Each day.
I KNOW that things will be different. Harder. Lonelier. I KNOW that for now, you may be confused and lost. Hold on. Reach out. Be Patient.
Love is not a milestone away.
I wish I had been a better person. I wish I was a better person. I wish I had done what I knew I should of. I wish you the best.
Love Love xx
I knew that. I witnessed that. I allowed it to happen.
I became a wolf in sheep clothing. Introducing a need to change. That someone needed to become something they weren't. For the sake of others.
Not who I should of been. For the sake of others. I was not what I wanted.
Not fair. Not right. Not deserved. Not how it should have been handled.
I am sorry.
I KNOW it is hard. I KNOW, how hard it is. How utterly difficult it is. The pain. The mask. The extra tortures that can be added to the mix. The loss. The feeling that the hurt will last an eternity. The next day. That day. Each day.
I KNOW that things will be different. Harder. Lonelier. I KNOW that for now, you may be confused and lost. Hold on. Reach out. Be Patient.
Love is not a milestone away.
I wish I had been a better person. I wish I was a better person. I wish I had done what I knew I should of. I wish you the best.
Love Love xx
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Blank Postcard
I am not naive to the world. I understand more than people may give me credit for. I am never oblivious to myself, or those close to me. I know what is wrong and why.
Looking at myself has got easier. Smiling is simpler. School work is getting more than satisfactory. Hunger pains are a welcomed acceptance.
But.
My parents can't afford to keep our house running. Dishwasher, broken. Fridge, broken. White ants, eating out bathroom. Pool, breaking. Light bulbs, keep burning out. Electricity, doesn't go to all the house. Debt, building up. Dad, stressed to boiling point. Mum, hating work.
We have each other. We have our health. He love each other. All these things, are just material objects. We could live without them, and still be happy.
Haven't seen my dad smile.
Money for holidays. Money for getting our citizenship. Money for celebrating citizenship. Money for replacing broken stuff. Money for keeping the pool clean. Money for school. Money for clothes. Money for bills. Money for debt. Money for food. Money. Money. Money.
It upsets me. Concerns me. There's nothing I can do. I am useless. Helpless. Hopeless.
In my head, I feel lost.
I need someone to hold my hand. Someone who wants to hold my hand. A hug. A genie. A person to throw hope in my face. Telling the truth. I know the truth, but I need verification. My words are useless if no one believes them.
I am optimistic, but that don't mean I don't need someone telling me that everything will be OK. I am still only human. I am still just a kid. I still love the hugs from my mum. Her giggles and laughs.
Story books find me an escape. Especially ones where you can be lost anywhere. One where you can immerse yourself in a foreign culture. Foreign myths. Foreign adventures.
My vices are gone. So I have relived them. Re-mentioned them. Put them back in my mind. Holding on to memories. Enjoying the feelings all over again. Inviting in the flavors that I have now lost.
My constants are gone.
Love Love xx
Looking at myself has got easier. Smiling is simpler. School work is getting more than satisfactory. Hunger pains are a welcomed acceptance.
But.
My parents can't afford to keep our house running. Dishwasher, broken. Fridge, broken. White ants, eating out bathroom. Pool, breaking. Light bulbs, keep burning out. Electricity, doesn't go to all the house. Debt, building up. Dad, stressed to boiling point. Mum, hating work.
We have each other. We have our health. He love each other. All these things, are just material objects. We could live without them, and still be happy.
Haven't seen my dad smile.
Money for holidays. Money for getting our citizenship. Money for celebrating citizenship. Money for replacing broken stuff. Money for keeping the pool clean. Money for school. Money for clothes. Money for bills. Money for debt. Money for food. Money. Money. Money.
It upsets me. Concerns me. There's nothing I can do. I am useless. Helpless. Hopeless.
In my head, I feel lost.
I need someone to hold my hand. Someone who wants to hold my hand. A hug. A genie. A person to throw hope in my face. Telling the truth. I know the truth, but I need verification. My words are useless if no one believes them.
I am optimistic, but that don't mean I don't need someone telling me that everything will be OK. I am still only human. I am still just a kid. I still love the hugs from my mum. Her giggles and laughs.
Story books find me an escape. Especially ones where you can be lost anywhere. One where you can immerse yourself in a foreign culture. Foreign myths. Foreign adventures.
My vices are gone. So I have relived them. Re-mentioned them. Put them back in my mind. Holding on to memories. Enjoying the feelings all over again. Inviting in the flavors that I have now lost.
My constants are gone.
Love Love xx
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sing A Lullaby
Dancing in my pool and singing to myself. Sing a song about not letting the closest person to you in, in case they don't like what they find.
Save It For The Last Kiss.
Meaning, saving your questions, til you no longer care for what the answers are. Like the last kiss in a relationship. I duno, it sounds better in my head.
I started work on my English oral, I got like the whole section on one of the things that are important to me. I need to work on it to get it just that little bit more emotionally gripping, lol, but yeh. I have my concept for the second thing as well, so all is good.
I think we are all generally quite hypercritical, but I think that's just a part of our nature.
I was wondering the other day, right. You know how traditionally pink is for girls and blue is for boys. I was wondering, if we took a child and didn't introduce him/her to colours and such, and then told him/her to attach specific colours to a specific sex, whether is would still be the same.
I also thought that if we got a young child, and taught them to speak English and taught them letters, but didn't actually allow them to know what the letters looked like. Would they associate the same symbol with the same sounds.
I duno, it was just a thought that came to my head, you know.
I like the Odyssey. I've got very interested in it.
I'm feeling better, cos i am eating better, and exercising.
yay.
Love Love xx
Save It For The Last Kiss.
Meaning, saving your questions, til you no longer care for what the answers are. Like the last kiss in a relationship. I duno, it sounds better in my head.
I started work on my English oral, I got like the whole section on one of the things that are important to me. I need to work on it to get it just that little bit more emotionally gripping, lol, but yeh. I have my concept for the second thing as well, so all is good.
I think we are all generally quite hypercritical, but I think that's just a part of our nature.
I was wondering the other day, right. You know how traditionally pink is for girls and blue is for boys. I was wondering, if we took a child and didn't introduce him/her to colours and such, and then told him/her to attach specific colours to a specific sex, whether is would still be the same.
I also thought that if we got a young child, and taught them to speak English and taught them letters, but didn't actually allow them to know what the letters looked like. Would they associate the same symbol with the same sounds.
I duno, it was just a thought that came to my head, you know.
I like the Odyssey. I've got very interested in it.
I'm feeling better, cos i am eating better, and exercising.
yay.
Love Love xx
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Hi Nathan 2
HAHAHA, yay.
Well you are staring quite intently at my picture, and talking about megans iced coffee, :P
and lady marmalde is on
and woo
so yup
xx
Hi Nathan
Wooo.
Boob.
You have to come over to this side and see the picture i drew in psych.
Bonnie and emily are rapping or something, :P
xx
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Progression of Misinformation!
A different interpretation on something.
Controversial or just a joke.
I want a camcorder, cos I would much prefer to do video blogs, that would be so much cooler. But of course, I would still dabble in the typing.
I am tired.
I am typing the thoughts that come into my head.
Mango Chutney.
Of course I would ....
Yup.
Sexual Feeling.
Interesting-esk.
I want to be nathan evans thin.
LOL, like that would happen.
This person is still talking to me, now this person wants to get in my pants, LOL. HAHA.
Starfish.
Blow Out Me Candles.
Blue.
Confused.
I need to find a point next time.
Love Love xx
Controversial or just a joke.
I want a camcorder, cos I would much prefer to do video blogs, that would be so much cooler. But of course, I would still dabble in the typing.
I am tired.
I am typing the thoughts that come into my head.
Mango Chutney.
Of course I would ....
Yup.
Sexual Feeling.
Interesting-esk.
I want to be nathan evans thin.
LOL, like that would happen.
This person is still talking to me, now this person wants to get in my pants, LOL. HAHA.
Starfish.
Blow Out Me Candles.
Blue.
Confused.
I need to find a point next time.
Love Love xx
Satisfaction.
How odd.
You think you have got someone cracked down, and then they do something different. Like they give you this image of them being subtly sweet and adorable and such, and then they go and do something that I would feel is quite the opposite.
Just goes to show you, you can't truly know a person.
Well, now time to try and get in there pants.
LOL.
Another thing, it's enlightening when an old friend contacts you from beyond the past. LOL. Yay, for it being so snowy in England. Ah, my little Ellie. :)
A new mixture of people. Odd. Lol, Strange.
Love Love xx
You think you have got someone cracked down, and then they do something different. Like they give you this image of them being subtly sweet and adorable and such, and then they go and do something that I would feel is quite the opposite.
Just goes to show you, you can't truly know a person.
Well, now time to try and get in there pants.
LOL.
Another thing, it's enlightening when an old friend contacts you from beyond the past. LOL. Yay, for it being so snowy in England. Ah, my little Ellie. :)
A new mixture of people. Odd. Lol, Strange.
Love Love xx
Monday, February 2, 2009
Star Jumps In My Pool
That's what I do. Lots and lots of star jumps, as well as swimming and kicking and stuff.
I am proud of myself a little, because I have been eating healthier and stuff, and like, YAY.
I just felt like mentioning this, because i am in that kind of mood
Love Love xx
I am proud of myself a little, because I have been eating healthier and stuff, and like, YAY.
I just felt like mentioning this, because i am in that kind of mood
Love Love xx
Kids Of The Korn
Ah, my young'n friends are making me smile.
A collaborative effort from all the little kiddies of my day (not counting the ones that live in my house) have continuously made things better. Consisting of the children between year groups 11 - 9 (No year 8 could make me happy)(That's not quite true but shh).
Ah, its just been little things. Like hunting someone down and traveling around to find someone, so as to be returned with the greatest burst of 'SAM!!' I have ever heard, or meeting a lovely collection of friends on the bus, or spending a delicious time while waiting for a bus and then on the bus, or coming home to find a lovely nice message on a persons myspace.
LOL
I am in a good mood.
Love Love xx
A collaborative effort from all the little kiddies of my day (not counting the ones that live in my house) have continuously made things better. Consisting of the children between year groups 11 - 9 (No year 8 could make me happy)(That's not quite true but shh).
Ah, its just been little things. Like hunting someone down and traveling around to find someone, so as to be returned with the greatest burst of 'SAM!!' I have ever heard, or meeting a lovely collection of friends on the bus, or spending a delicious time while waiting for a bus and then on the bus, or coming home to find a lovely nice message on a persons myspace.
LOL
I am in a good mood.
Love Love xx
Sunday, February 1, 2009
It Takes 2 To Tango, But 17 To Make A 17 Man Crowd!
I need help.
Honestly.
I don't comfort in being honest, because I don't think it will make a difference. For now I am going to move on.
I am imagining that there is a lack in people that read these. Which in someway makes me feel alright because it means I am still just in my own head. But other ways, I duno, I feel maybe just a bit, alone.
I've been out of it for a little while, and everything feels different. People seem odder, situations seem changed and everything just seems to have formed into something else.
I could probably come up with a few simple explanations, the most obvious being that everyone is back at school. But I duno, other things.
Its this little annoying thing in the back of my mind, and its making me uneasy. I'm sure i will eventually forget it, and feel like everything is as normal as ever, but i just kinda want to put it on the record. That things have changed.
Whether obvious or inconspicuous, something else is lurking about.
Well, moving on.
I have had my first failure.
In my bid to become healthy and thin. Coke, M&M's and Pizza. Too much, SO MUCH. I felt guilty and disappointed in myself.
OOO, I just thought of something, Genius, hhhmmm. Nah, wouldn't be as coolas i think it would.
Anyways. I tried to contemplate for it by doing 20 minutes worth of star jumps in my pool and swimming lengths and stuff. (Doing Aerobics in a pool is very good exercise)
But I kept snacking.
I need a large Russian woman following me all the time, who can slap me every time I fall out of line. No, I just need to get more control of myself.
Gah, I hate wittling on about myself. It feels so pompous. I apologise to the last remaining people still reading this. I don't find it fair of me to talk about myself. Especially since no one has asked to know.
I, ofcourse, have no one else to talk about, but you know.
I am a strange person.
Hmm
Love Love xx
P.S. The Staberfoyle Park blog thing, I realised, I am the only year 12 male there, and the only mainstream kid, I think. :)
Honestly.
I don't comfort in being honest, because I don't think it will make a difference. For now I am going to move on.
I am imagining that there is a lack in people that read these. Which in someway makes me feel alright because it means I am still just in my own head. But other ways, I duno, I feel maybe just a bit, alone.
I've been out of it for a little while, and everything feels different. People seem odder, situations seem changed and everything just seems to have formed into something else.
I could probably come up with a few simple explanations, the most obvious being that everyone is back at school. But I duno, other things.
Its this little annoying thing in the back of my mind, and its making me uneasy. I'm sure i will eventually forget it, and feel like everything is as normal as ever, but i just kinda want to put it on the record. That things have changed.
Whether obvious or inconspicuous, something else is lurking about.
Well, moving on.
I have had my first failure.
In my bid to become healthy and thin. Coke, M&M's and Pizza. Too much, SO MUCH. I felt guilty and disappointed in myself.
OOO, I just thought of something, Genius, hhhmmm. Nah, wouldn't be as coolas i think it would.
Anyways. I tried to contemplate for it by doing 20 minutes worth of star jumps in my pool and swimming lengths and stuff. (Doing Aerobics in a pool is very good exercise)
But I kept snacking.
I need a large Russian woman following me all the time, who can slap me every time I fall out of line. No, I just need to get more control of myself.
Gah, I hate wittling on about myself. It feels so pompous. I apologise to the last remaining people still reading this. I don't find it fair of me to talk about myself. Especially since no one has asked to know.
I, ofcourse, have no one else to talk about, but you know.
I am a strange person.
Hmm
Love Love xx
P.S. The Staberfoyle Park blog thing, I realised, I am the only year 12 male there, and the only mainstream kid, I think. :)
Poodle Sir
My 100th Post.
Welcome To February The First.
I Loveth My Pool.
I Have School Tomorrow.
Love Love xx
Welcome To February The First.
I Loveth My Pool.
I Have School Tomorrow.
Love Love xx
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