Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pink Quiche

One foot wrong, i am listening to pink this time, and i have to be quick, only like 4 minutes left of this 'period', the new name for lessons, ficking americans, losers and there ness, vanessa hudgens, KELLY RIPA, hope and faith, regis and kelly, scrubs, ancient greek legends, ODYSSEUS, oh the video clip for this song is weird, but apporopriate i think, makes sence, very pink and very good, anyways, should i be political, SAVE THE CHILDREN. g2g


And here is evelyn

hi eveyone in the blogging world.. i am not apart of your world.. but i thought id visit..

this here, is SAM LANES blog thingo.

he just wrote quite an insane blog about nothing.

it scared me a little.

actually.. a lot.


i dont think im very good at this.

megan is quite a cutie.

i <3 u 4 u r a q t

that is silly.

says the one that snorts.

i also have a strange laugh that is occasional very high pitched and loud.

kyrie just walked in with coke.. suprise suprise. hehehe

larinda works at red rooster.. nom nom.

im really bored. yes sam.. it is.

i dont know why i space out my ness... but it looks neater somehow.

but less intelligent.

eveybody.. do the cha cha..

*does dance*

yay its me and nathans one month today XD

it makes me happy. =]

ok.. im off.. XOXO

Mow Mow

Its 5th period. Sitting here in the music mac lab, listening to some more Duffy. What am I thinking about.

Warwick Avenue, Megan, Holly and friends, Wedges with sour cream, Hannah is sitting just over there, Duffy, Lorinda, Chris's bag, kyire's drum lesson, MEGAN is here, Woo, where you going, oh ok, come back quickly, i love this song, i love that person, no not love, its just made sense to continue on like that, ew, i hate this song, Syrup and honey, wooo, waxing legs, i loveth megan, 1 2 3, BABY BABY BABY spend your time on me, LOL, whats megan looking for, whats on that peice of paper, oh i-pod, yes that makes sense, she's opening a word document, whats she going to listen to, i'll ask, Sex on fire, no, feeling good by muse, HAHA, this is fun, Air guitar, LOL, megan is so adorable, she doesnt need to try, i am aren't i, do i like this song, mmm, sometimes if i am in the mood,sometimes its annoying, right now i can't be bothered changing, wait, what lesson is megan meant to be in, EVELYN, lol, oh, shes wagging, lol, megan that is, S+E with ms gregory huh, womens studies? anti christ, I KNOW ITS WRONG,HANGING ON TOO LONG, what an oddish song, Janelle monae, Womadelaide, green laces, chicken teriyaki, joseph, old phone, OH, i have so much credit, 50 free texts, 50 free dollars, I am rolling in it, LOL, compared to what i usually have, Scrubs is awesome, oh house is on tonight, WOO ness, Vanessa hudgens is abit of a skank, thought to thought, are thoughts chemical reactions in the brain, are every thought a reaction in the brain, would that mean we could like totally read peoples minds and such, because if we learned what each reaction meant, or infact, if there was nothing physical that connected thoughts, wouldn't that mean thoughts don't exist, meaning that everything that is around us was subject to the creation of something that doesn't exist, ie, our thoughts and all that, hhmmmmmmmm, makes ya think, 1984, oddness, reactions, anyways, I want to, i also want to read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, the boob lady,LOL, unsupportive bra, shut up woman, lol, what now, lunchtime, thank you, treble cleff, when i drop you boy, where is my mind going now, back to that person,why, how odd, tiddy not giving us money, kyrie, kyrie, hhmm, mentions of her name, she got 92 thats right, steven bickley, up himself, powerpoint, english orals, oooo, english oral script, i winged it, lol, terrible, surname, so funny, confident, i have been confident lately, Andrea has started talking to me, since monday, maybe i am being a bitch, enjoy it, hair in a bun, work, should be doing work, MY FAVOURITE SONG, I'm Scared, its awesome, Choir, not a soprano, alto, i'm a tenor, woooness, vanessa hudgens, lol, harmony, picture of your face, one note, phrase, one note, you were gone, and now i'm scared, aw,i love this song, loud and sharp, not good, louder but sharp, good god, she can sing, ok, get into my own thoughts not the thoughts of everyone around me, there are so many red lines on this post thingo, and there adds another one, a question mark, the opposites of siblings, the power struggle, hhmmm, Distant Dreamer, I rarely dream, but i like dreaming, and escaping, tis fun, watermelon, The Adventure Of ME, lol, psychology, the red lady person from psych, what a shit head, annoyance, piss off you, dam her, the grudge, i think i may have wrote enough, aw holly was crying, her friend is possibly moving school, OMG, nipples WTF, erm, but ya sadness, such a lovely girl, father being abit of a selfish shellfish, mmm, i tinks to myself that i may be crazy


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

All The Lights Are On, I'm In The Dark, Whos Gonna Find Me

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing. Then I get to thinking, Who am I doing it for?

By what am I doing, I mean, trying to stand out as something 'attractive'. Although, if I am honest, I have always had that desire.

I'm finding something in nothing, again.

I'm listening to P!NK, and this is what it does to me. Makes me think. Oh I love Pink. And good ol Duffy. I wish I could write songs. Then I would feel complete.

The title of this post is Pink lyrics, woo.

I feel happy, why am I questioning it. Is it because I realise it is a completely superficial happiness, all based on the foundations of appearance. Is it because I feel like that is the only way. No, because happiness comes in all different forms. Plus, a person's appearance could not always be there own doings, so they still have the freedom to be however they like.

I know who I am doing it for, realistically. I am not oblivious. I am still in basic contact with my head. Ofcourse, that doesn't justify the whole thing.

I am divided.


I leave the stars to judge my every move

I'm editing my myspace again.

I wish for people to just give me some more things to work with, LOL.

Some other peoples opinions and such.

Try and keep them positive, because yeh.


Duffy Duffy DUFFY

"I'm Scared"

The blank pages of my diary,
That I haven't touched since you left me,
The closed blinds in my home,
See no light or day,
Dust gathers on my stereo,
Cause I can't bare to hear the radio,
The piano sits in a shaded space,
With a picture of your face,

I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....

Coffee stains on your favourite book,
Remind me of you so I can't take a look,
The magazines you left on the floor,
You won't need them anymore,
A towel left hanging on the wall,
No sign of wet footsteps in the hall,
There's no smell of your sweet cologne,
I'm lying here alone,

I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....

I'm scared to face another day,
Coz' the fear in me just won't go away,
In an instance,
You were gone,
And now I'm scared.....

In an instance you were gone,
I'm scared.....

"Distant Dreamer"

Although you think I cope
My head is filled with hope
Of some place other than here
Although you think I smile
Inside and all the while
I'm wondering about my destiny

I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life

I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today

Even when you see me frown
My heart won't let me down
Because I know there's better things to come
And when life gets tough
And I feel I've had enough
I hold on to a distant star

I'm thinking about
All the things
I'd like to do
In my life

I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
I'm a dreamer
A distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today
Yeah I'm a dreamer


I'd move to Rockferry,
And I'd build my house, baby
With sorrow

I'd leave my shadow,
To fall behind
And I wouldn't write to you
'cos I'm not that kind

The midnight trains are boarding
All wrap up 8s
I pich my load and i fill my truck
before its too late

I leave the stars to judge
my every move
I'm not going to think of you, oh
I'd get the blues

Theres no sleep on the journey
away from time
A bag of songs and a heavy heart
won't make me down

i'll give it all my strength and my mind
i'll make this decision with or without

I'd move to Rockferry,
And I'd build my house, baby
With sorrow

I'd leave my shadow,
To fall behind
And i wouldn't write to you
'cos i'm not that kind
not that kind

Rockferry, not that kind [repeat]

"Warwick Avenue"

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Meet me by the entrance of the tube
We can talk things over a little time
Promise me you won't step outta line

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Please drop the past and be true
Don't think we're okay, just because I'm here
You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear

I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I've been confused outta my mind lately
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me

When I get to Warwick Avenue
We'll spend an hour, but no more than two
Our only chance to speak once more
I showed you the answers, now here's the door

When I get to Warwick Avenue
I'll tell you baby that we're through

I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I've been confused outta my mind lately
You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me

All the days spent together, I wished for better
But I didn't want the train to come
Now it's departed
I'm broken hearted, seems like we never started
All the days spent together, when I wished for better
And I didn't want the train to come

You think you're loving but you don't love me
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me
You don't love me, I want to be free
Baby you've hurt me

"Syrup & Honey"

Don't you be wasting all your money
On syrup and honey
Because I'm sweet enough
Don't you be using every minute
On making a living
Because we've got our love
Listen to me 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby
Spend your time on me

Don't you be out all night long
Leaving me all alone
Because I need your love
Don't you be spending every day
Working away
Because I'm waiting for you
Listen to me 1,2,3
Baby, baby, baby
Spend your time on me

Spend it, spend it, spend it
Your time on me
Please baby



Monday, March 23, 2009

Once In The Boondocks

Ok, so today a there was strange new trend going on. Many more people were being nice, friendly and even rather flirty with me.

Now before today, the number of people that would offer to give me a piggy back, was limited to the one occasional adult that would be guilty for leaving me out of the little kids fun. LOL. But today I got on a total of 3 backs. Woo.

Today, I was dubbed, attractive, cute, adorable, sexy and good looking, by an array of people.

I don't know if many of you know what its like to suddenly have people praising your looks. Especially considering previously all I ever felt like was the over weight extra guy with nothing really going for him. It was up lifting. I felt more confident. I felt emotionally thinner. It was just lovely.

People were treating me nicer, and just kind of looking at me with a more pleasant look on there face.

Kind of proving all that psychology has been telling us about peoples attitudes and its relevance to appearance. Which in some ways is quite sad, but I don't know. I felt good today.

Its all because of my new stylish hair cut, and probably that mixed with the fact it was casual day.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

Its A Terra Bite

Had a hair cut today. I am pleased with it. It has some shaped and stuff, :P. Hopefully people will notice, LOL.

I went bowling yesterday with Holly and my sister and her sister and her nan, twas lovely. I won both games, WOO. We planned to do stuff next weekend. Yep.

For those who don't know, Holly is basically my surrogate sister, if you will. She is a member of our 'Australian Family', which is just a collection of English families residing in the flagstaff hill/aberfoyle park area, who are very close, due to the fact they have no other family.

I enjoy spending time with her, she is still interested in me, :P


Friday, March 20, 2009

Fine Young Cannibals

I'm adding randoms on Myspace, Its both interesting and pointless.

Also getting a little weirder.

This is my night tonight. Adding scores of people, just to spark fresh conversations with people I have never met. Its relaxing. Care free.

Some people out there are such jackasses. All 'hardcore', don't care, plain arrogant people. There are also those that say they are nice and like want to meet new people, but who won't talk or just kinda don't follow through with what the say about themselves. LOL.

Ah, how very odd.


Myspace Profile - To keep on record

Sam Lane


Read As One
It's All Me











Believes In Chance.

Collects Information.

Never Forgets.


No Certainty.

Always A Meaning.

Housewives Mask.

Tearless Pains.

Oldest Child.

Butterfly Family.

No Sympathy.

Enough To Survive.

Seeking Adventure.

Chasing Dreams.

Un-Eager Normality.


Lovers Accident.

First Experience.

Optionally Loud.

Subtly Silent.

Extra Ordinary.

Extra Simplicity.

Bitter Sweet Tears.

Sacrificial Lamb.

Ivy Memories.


A Beautiful Escape.

Dream Sequences.

My Imagination.

My Creations.

Pandora's Box.




Talonless Eagles.


Future Saint.

Good Person.





Companion In Pain.

Noter Of Laughs.

Selective Listener.

Necessary Hypocrite.

Always Here.




Tragedy Joys.

Others Positive.

Unrealistic Hopes.

Will Power.

Basic Display.

Interesting Meaning.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Tragedies Surrounding Nurse Roberts

I cried today.

Well, not really. But kinda.

I was watching scrubs, yes, scrubs, and well, it got incredibly sad. There was some awesome acting, and it made my eyes water to the extreme. So much so, that at the corner of my right eye, a little sack of held emotions just popped out a little. It didn't quite get to the point where it fell and went down my cheek, as I was so desperately wanting, but it was a tear. Sitting there, on my eye.

I am in some ways, happy with my little stint of emotions. It was quite gripping. Saddening.

Nothing around me is quite gripping or saddening enough to cause me to cry, but that doesn't take from the significance of the tear itself. Its a significant development in my emotional stability. Some people may not understand, and think I am being ridiculous, but I would just simply say, read my blog titled, I Can't Cry, one of my first blogs. To the rest of you, I would say something along the lines of, My god, this is quite a development, huh. LOL.

Ave Maria


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Piggy Back


What a strange development of character.

Unexpected and just weird.



Monday, March 16, 2009

Next To Travel

I am sick of people who complain about everything that is going on in there life, but never do anything about it. Yes, that does mean I am sick of myself. The people who will storm around, but never help themselves. The people who will list the reasons why everything is crap, but not a single suggestion as to what they can do.

I realize that people would have there defenses to why they can't seem to be able to just help themselves. But from an outsiders perspective I am tired of all these self caused complaints.

I also realize that I am getting harsher with my moans and groans.

I respect that people can't always solve a problem on there own, but I also respect more, those people who atleast try to do what they can for themselves. The people who don't give excuses, but rather just move on. The people who make an effort to do the thing they were just hoping would fix itself.

Self help, my new frontier.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Secret Video Taping Of The Public

A thought came across my mind, as I was looking at PostSecret. I hadn't took a look at it in quite a while, but tonight I did. It got me thinking, as I am sure many others have done before, about all the secrets people keep.

Secrets are those little things, that left untouched can either become nothing, or become everything. I just wonder what everyones secrets are, and what there significance is. Whether they are nothing, or everything. Most peoples secrets are everything to them, but probably not to anyone else. Some secrets, are secret because they need to be kept secret.

I'd wonder how peoples secrets affect them. What they are? Why they are still secret? Who, if anyone, knows? You know, all the questioned you would be likely to ask, if confronted with the issue of a secret.

I respect peoples capacity to keep secrets, and that they don't all need to be told. A story can be kept in the minds of the witnesses and participants. Secret hopes, dreams and wishes. Secret memories and events.

The mask that hides the biggest secret of all. Who are you?


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Judge ME, Not US.

My latest topic of thought, has been that of Loneliness. Yep. It's one of those feelings, that I have experienced enough of in my 16 years.

Oh wow, I'm 16. When did that happen.

Anyways. Yeh. Loneliness.

In all its forms. In all its glory (cliche, gah).

I'm losing my flow of this post. I think its because I am also looking through a collection of photos, from what must have been a very incoherent party, with a lot of mistakes and sex. Wow, the expectations of drink and drugs. Why would that be the way people wish to spend there time together. Throwing up and falling over. Whoopi, sign me up for the train wreck to burger boy and check out chick.

Is that what we have to do. Whore our selves out to conformity, and enjoy nights of superficial stupidity and narcotic epilepsy, just so we can feel like we are apart of something. I'd prefer a life with 27 cats, than one where I need to look like salvos just blow up on me and I am constantly after dick.

Sorry, but vulgarity seems necessary, because it seems like the world is constantly just trying to push there agendas on you, and the only way to finalize that bit of rebellion was to lay it out plain and simple. I understand that it is in our nature to try and make everyone the same. Face it, we like it much better when we can organize things, and we would much prefer it if everyone just fitted into the same group. That group being people who are exactly like us.

So then we come across Social Stereotypes, my greatest pet hate. I know it is cliche of me to say, what many gay man before has said, but I hate Labels, Stereotypes and Categorized Opinions (and also the way my spell check keeps telling em to put 'z' instead of 's'). The sad thing is, we strive as a race on the up keeping of stereotypes. Comedy wouldn't survive without them. But that doesn't mean we can't try.

Oh, what am I kidding. Of course people are still going to keep judging others on there perceptions of what they think a person is meant to be like, defined by what group, race, orientation, up bringing, religion, sex, age, style, education, wealth, opinion and appearance. It just shits me off. That a persons opinion of someone, might change, because of pieces of information that they didn't previously know.

But anyways, back to Loneliness.

I got a phone call from my grandparents today. I haven't spoke to them in ages, it was really nice. Reminded me of the fact that I still have people out there, that do not see me everyday, but still think of me. Family. They're good people.

I want someone to think about. Someone I can have in my head. Someone I can think about how much they love me. Someone who is not here for me right now. I am not being selfish, I am just pining for the thing that everyone else seems to have. I am surround by people who can look over to someone, and have them gaze back. People who can spend hours on end with just one another looking at each other and talking about how much they love each other.

I was reminded last night, that I have actually been in a fair few relationships. Each of varying lengths. Each with there own memories and mementos. Considering I don't try my best to look desperate enough to be taken pity on, or I don't spend long times pining for specific people to come my way. I guess you could say I have been quite lucky, if you really want to think of it like that, but don't let me remind you, that I am not in those relationships anymore.

Ah, I don't know. I don't feel attractive enough to be putting myself out there, but I don't feel like my personality is that flaw that its not worth trying. I am in a rut. One that is neither enjoyable, nor painful. Just, a rut.

For now, I shall keep experimenting with what I can look like. Like my spectacle/beanie/random shirt ensemble that I put on for youth last night. Also, the blow drying and straightening (although I couldn't see through my fringe, so the beanie was needed) of my hair. Again, I question the notion of dyeing it. I'm no longer entertained by the fact of forcing myself to do it for charity. Plus, by dyeing my hair, I just mean a simple natural colour, not an over the top explosion of shades, tones and acrylic colours.

I believe I could be losing weight, or I could be delusioned and really be getting fatter. Either way I don't care. No, actually I do, but I move on.

Things are looking up.


Small Thought

Oh, its raining. Or someone is hosing my house. No, no, its definitely rain.

I'm home alone right now. Just sitting here, listening to the TV in the background. I can;t handle a quiet home.

Hmm, I want to cry.

and, I don't know why.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Mirror Is Kinder In The Dark

My day was slow, and lacking in stimulus. LOL, stimulus. Dam Americans and their 'ness' and their spelling.


I successfully asked for help today. It should help, hopefully. That would be the point. But I mean, more than just the help itself, but rather, help make other things more controlled and such. I know what i mean, so its all good.

I'm in a strange mood. I feel as though I have accomplished something, even though people do stuff like this all the time, and don't really get any recognition for it. But I'm not sure if you realize how slack I really am. Also, how stubborn I am about asking for help. It is quite a big moment today.

Yep well, Finger crossed for some success.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

All I Wanted To Do Was Make A Sandwhich

I hate people.

People are selfish, spiteful, self centered, greedy, vane, bitches, whores, bastards, fascists, racists, sexists, sadists, controlling, domineering, discriminative, angry, stupid, arrogant, small minded, ignorant, blinkered, spoilt, pathetic, spineless, useless, pointless, full of shit, oblivious, idiots, biased, judgmental, wrong and they don't care.

People and all there shit, can go fuck themselves, I am sick of everyone and there crap.

Those of you with you opinions, that you try to force on to people, try and make sure you know what you are talking about. God, you people piss me off.

Go Fuck A Lemon.


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

'Am I A Crazy Man, Or A Man At All'

I've been downloading stuff. Music and Movies.

I am now in love with Duffy. YUP. She is cool.

I am also in the midst of watching 'The Spirit', a real cool graphic novel movie thing, like Sin City.


Yep, people don't care. Self Self Self. Sure, including me. But self all the same.

The ones who didn't care won't care in the end.

Ah well.

So, loneliness. That seems to be a theme that keeps charging at me. I feel very lonely, a lot of the time. Not that I ain't trying, its just the situations that I find myself, with the people I want to be around. Well, nothing no one can do to help, so my issue, I'll live with it.

Stuck up enough for you. Honesty.

Arrogance makes you a saint.

Remember that Shirley.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Justification Is Not Prove That Its Right

People are disappointing me. Yes, disappointing me. Not that they are trying to impress me, its just I had hoped of something more. Or something that doesn't make me angry, or cringe, or just plain pissed.

Guilt Trippers and the Impossible.

People who are so blatantly only thinking of themselves.

There's someone out there, who deserves it so much. Who is punishing themselves. But I say, what gives them the right to be the one to punish. Nothing does. They hurt someone, they should let the universe take control and punish them. But no, self punishment now means that you have all right to blame the other person for the way you feel, even tho it is there own fault. No, you don't get that right. You cheated, you didn't follow the rules, so now you don't get to decide how the rest of the game is played. So let people move on.

Then there are those people, who pile the guilt onto another, just because they are finally moving on. You broke them, so let them be fixed. Even if you aren't the one doing the fixing. Don't try and break them anymore. For crying out loud, you have lost your chance, and its know ones fault but your own. Don't make it there fault, its your fault. So move on, as you aren't letting them too. You want to be friends, then start acting like one. Or atleast stop making excuses for your own faults.

Then, you arrogant pricks out there, who just don't care, period.

Also, the ignorant bastards who can't look past there own nose, you people make me want to knock down old ladies and punch babies in the face. Good god.


People piss me off. Because they are so utterly in the wrong, but can't see it.

There are also those people out there, who are right to feel the way they feel, and right to say what they have to say, but are still talking out there arse. Feeding us a line of bullshit, just to justifiy there own indiscretions. The people, who will explain, with all there being the feeling and emotions that goes into doing something so terrible. The people who will believe that everything they are doing is fine. Or they will know that it isn't and still go on and try to rationalise something that would disgust most.

I also feel very disrespected by those who can't just be honest. The people who will make up some outrageous lie, just to 'save you from feeling hurt'. People who feed you some crap, just to save there own conscience from feeling the guilt. What I hate more than someone who can't just be honest, is a very bad liar. I just hate it, be straight with me. The bullshit just makes me angry and upset. So honesty please.


Ok, so I have had a rant. People are pissing me off, and so I thought I would just get it all off my chest. Some of this doesn't have any real connection to me, but its just the way people areand how I feel about it, and I thought it was worth mentioning. Most is not about anyone in particular, infact I never had any single person in mind throughout each portion.

But yeh. There are people I still love dearly. But tonight, I felt like getting rid of some anger.

Love Love xx

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Attatched To A Mad Mans Wallet

I am good. Trailing along.

I duno, I felt like blogging, but I never have anything I feel like saying.

Probably is a good thing, means either things are getting better, or I am becoming better at expressing whats wrong, or such. Either works.

I am very tired.

wow, myspace is weird.

I need some nice new music to listen to. Something relaxing and sweet and stuff.


Sometimes I really hate people.

The people who are talking out there arse. Good god, they annoy the crap out of me. Those selfish people, with all the answers. Gah. Guilt trippers. I hate, guilt trippers. They take the cake for annoying me. Using other peoples good sides against them. How low do you need to go. Or even, those people who push the blame onto somebody else. they rightly piss me off.

I am not that angry, but i am tired and irritable. Plus, there are certain things that can get me rallied up.

I had a real point that I actually was trying to reach, but I can't remember what that was. or do i. .. No, I really can't.

I think i would like some universal happiness. No selling of children for the sex industry. No penniless baggars starving in the middle of cities. No backyard human butcher shops. No alcoholic dad, slapping up his wife, infront of his kids. Gah.

I want to be a superhero. That would be fun. To an extent. Otherwise, it would be very up lifting, to have done something good.

I could ramble some more. But I am tired.

Love Love xx