Friday, November 28, 2008


i wish to make a distraction

for thats what you wanted

hello there boopy



how are you doing

what are you up to

what is your favourite colour

favourite animla

favoutire holdaiy memory

funniest aunt or uncle

best christmas present

your lifes aspirations

dream job

favourite childrens names

dream house

dream holiday

answer all those questins as fu fillig as you can for me

a) to distract you
b) so i can know you better

I Found The Ash Stains On The Floor.

i went out side, to look at where my mum was sitting last night

and saw the history of the many deceptive nights

the collective of cigarettes dubbed out

i understand that my mother just couldn't do it

and that she was just protecting us

because she loves us

but i would find much more comfort in knowing

that because she loves us

she would have given up

and if she couldn't do it on her own

then let us help

instead, she gave up, and decided to hide it from us


i love my mum too much


Tragic Nightmare

so last night, i was sent to bed by my mother, at about 10 15

i wanted to stay up, to watch some heroes

but my mummy said that she likes to spend the few hours before she goes to sleep, by herself

and that she wanted me to go to bed

i was upset, because i wanted to watch heroes

but i didn't protest

and so i went to bed

while in my bed things about everything, i had a sudden epiphany

OMG, we dont have the second season of Veronica Mars

i love that show

why dont we have the second season

so i decided to go out of my bedroom and just address the matter with my dear mother

i walked out in the living room, she wasnt about

i knew she was spending this time sorting washing, so i thought she might be out hanging it up

i stepped out to the back garden

and got the largest whiff of cigarette smoke

i looked around t see my mother sitting on some steps

a glass of wine in her hand and her faces turned away

she leant down

did something

(i think maybe putting out her cigarette)

then turned to me

i decided to ignore the obvious and continued with explaing about the veronice mars thing.

now i have not seen my mother smoke in over 3 years

when we came to australia

she said she was going to give them up

and i believed that she would

i thought it abit difficult doing it cold turkey

but i thought, if anyone could do it, it would be my mother

she is the strongest person i know

and so when i stepped out side last night

and got the tragic whiff of what i thought had left my life

my heart just sank

not only was she doing it

but she was doing it in secret

every night when she said she likes to spend this time on her own

its because she wants to smoke

it hurts that she lies

i think last night she was scaredof getting caught, because hse tried to cover up

saying that she likes to come out side and get some fresh air

especailly on such a lovely night like last night

i wanted to just spitefully bite back and say

i cant smell any fresh air

but i didnt

i didnt let my mum know that i knew she had been there smoking

i'm pretty sure my dad probably knows

its just so


i dont like smoking

and mm


The Captcha Trend


I started it everyone

naming the capthca word when you comment people, who annoyingly seem to have left the captcha thingo for people


and now every body is doig it

and i started it yo

cracker woop

Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Favourite Quote On Friendship

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. :)

A Tear.

One small river of emotion
travels steadily down her face.

Yep, i thought it sounded pretty.
So yeh, i still feel like bloggin, but still have nothing to say

oh, i thought of another song title, that would go in my Doodle Pad album

its called 'Manipulative'

and it ironically appeared on the side of a building when we were trying home from marion and we were having a conversation about alex mcintoshs birthday

i was sitting there for ages while we waited in traffic, and i kept reading Manipulative on the side of this building, but it never sunk in what it said, and then as we were driving away, i was like, wait a minute, manipulative, and i found it silently hilarious how at that time, we had been talking about alex mcintosh

because he is a manipulative as it gets

dam jackass

dont get me wrong, i've been his friend for ages, but since the last time i saw him, well like properly spent a commendable amount of time with him, so much crap has been told, and i have realised so many different things, and its like, well now i just dont know how to be around him, and like i just yeh

i dont trust him

simple as

but yeh

i just saw on the side of this build 'manipulative'

i dont understand why it was even on the side of this building, it just randomly was, and i just decded to jot it down, because i could easily make a song that fitted with that, and i have kinda the jist of what the song would be about, so yeh

its all cool

hhmm, well

love you all muchly


Help Moi, Please

Ok, since i believe that most people will not reach the end of my last post, and so therefore will not actually do what i hope people will. i am going to just ask again

ok, so what i would like people to please do for me

is to just tell me what you think of me, or describe me the best you can or something, or just like yeh

because i am doing up my myspace

and am wanting more to add, but need some help

and so yeh

if people could just give me a few nice things, then yeh

Thank You


Red Static

So yeh, i am bored, and decided to blog a little bit. HAHA, i also decided to randomly add a picture to my post, because, well, i can.

:P. but yeh.

i've been editing alot of picture, due to my strange creative buzz that i have got


so i am running out of things to say, because there isn't much left these days to talk about

school is over, so there isnt much happening, there, and so like, BAHH

hhmm, i have the desire to blog, but i dont actually have the thoughts to coincide with my desire, which is terrible, but true

honesty is nice sometimes, for people to be honest is occasionally, and more often than not, the better option, especially for those of you out there who are terrible liars, tut tut.

hhmm, moving on

i am growing wary of my undesirable lack of thoughts

i shall leave you all now

and hope that someone might be able to inspire me


oh wait one thing

people, i wish for you to tell me what you think of me
to help me with my myspace

i want people to tell me what they think of me and like how they would describe me and stuff
because yeh

if people could help me with that, then that would be great



I Do Not Like ...

Lady Fucking Gaga

The manish crappy whore of a singer can go die in the whore 'W'hole

dam crap

Ramblings Of A Mad Man!!!

So yeh. i am in a state of boredom that can only be a surpassed by unnaturally long blogs and a testiment of random phrases and words that i feel hold a sense of deep and thought to them but otherwise just look like the strange insecent nonsense of an ex british man.


that otherwise means, that a odd as i may be sounding in the next few hundered words, i will in the end form some form of meaning while i type

because thats what i do, and how i work. yep

so, i am at school, even tho i dont need to be, and i am sitting in the mac lab. an odd place, with an stimulating number of overly extraverted and unnaturally loud performing arts students, all trying there best to express there loves and lives wishes as if people are actually listening.

it is a steady place full of the motions and movements of mood, and its a totally mellow and majestic place to just be around, snaps for macs.

a turret of annoying kids smashing the keyboards, tho, makes me want to rip of the heads of ever single little kid that enters, and feed then to the giant up the beanstalk, laugh in there faces while peadophile rapist molest there decaying corpses and i sit back with a nice banana milkshake and s large stock of tim tams and write away my memoirs


certainly would be a thrill

so moving forwardly, i address the matter, of the international WHORES associtation. the admitted leader, being the dear Nathan, who coincidently is sitting directly behind moi. i must make a gargantuan plea,. please stop with the random sexing, the skimpy and revealing lycra golden lion suits and the necessity to display you breaticles on the net, thank you and good night dear mistresses of the night and just plain classic desperate floosy who wish to give up themselves and leave there social lives in a mess as everyone just assumed that they are pregnant and or, dieing of AIDs, you know who you are

die in the whore hole you were born in

wow, i feel better now

got that one off my chest

so, how is everyone? rhetorical question, because by the time you answer that i will have given up caring

the next step in my ramblings, shall take us to japan, and then steadily flick us across to thailand, where we shall eventually find ourselves in the mac labs once again.

that was fun, and filled with the necessary in jokes hat will survive longer than an american knock off series airing in australia, by that i am talking about the short lived life of the american version of Kath and Kim, woot woot to them, fuckers

its tragic aint it, very tragic in deed

the lives and turmoils of the shit

and it must end, soon, i must be rid, but how and when is uncertain, but it shall be done, promises have been met and fulfilling them shall be a necessity in my life that i must undertake


i do talk a lot of shit dont i


didgeri fukcing doo

ah, good times, good times, yayas

ok, so i duno what to talk about now

i still have my train of thoughts, its just not everything is desired to be put onto the net, for all to read, mmmmm


Mr. E is a nice man, a fun man, the best neighbour a mind can make up, yep

THREEDOM. i have thought of a cool thing for what that is all about, like i actually made up some strange cheesy meaning, and once i have probably got it written down and i have probably felt it defined, then i will let you take a look at what its all about.


'I Am Clara', my super book, that will be a classic, haha, it could, and i will make it one, the story is perfect, as long as i get the words right and actually write it well, then it shall be good

my songs will all be awesome

Doodle Pad is awesomeness , i love it with quite a lot of me, yayas


hay McGlasses and McDrums, cos i assume you shall be reading this. i just wanted to verify something. that i just dont get what you want me to talk to you about, so hmm. my blog is my way of talking to myself, thats what i see it as. mmm

Chaos theory takes control and generates the practical on me


so yeh

i have more that i thought i was going to say, but am now steadily dieing

so i will wish you all a lovely life and be back later


The Cowardly Lion

OMG, poor thing

ah its terrible

oh god

just makes things worse and harder



Tulips In The Window.

Through A Frost Glazed Window.
I Watch The Snow Fall.
As Life Keeps On Going By.
Three Tulips Grow By The Wall.

I was singing in the shower today. i was proud of myself. I was impressive, :P. 

Oh, i have a few more albums and song titles to add to the mix



  1. The Village In The Mountain.
  2. The Cliche.
  3. Alibi.
  4. Sunday Mournings.
  5. Insomnia And Thinking.
  6. Apple Crumble Surprise.
  7. Finale.
  8. Moono Highgii Cabba Feeded Tuvuttu.
  9. Beautiful Escape.
  10. Baby Face Charlie.
  11. My Story Gets Forgotten.
  12. Cock-a-doodle-doo.
  13. Caravan Families.
French Weddings (Incomplete):

  1. Sauver Le Monde.
  2. Souhaitent Sur Une Etoile.
  3. Visages Heureux.
Doodle Pad (Incomplete):

  1. My Imagination.
  2. Watery Eyes.
  3. Growing Pains.
  4. Tulips In The Window.
  5. Autumn.
  6. Mr.E.
  7. Raining Birthday Cards

Yes, my song titles have steadily got less random, but i think my favorite so far Is 'Doodle Pad', its just brilliance and i love it to bits, and the songs are better thought out and have a more personal meaning and like, i love it and everything is better

i have been in a crazily creative mood all week, and its kinda fun, and i like it. I'm still as undefined as ever, but you know, things are getting better, and i am having fun with things

i am actually good. not fine or alright or pretty good, but right now, at this moment right here, i feel good

i can feel the need to be fine and/or just pretty good, but thats due to actions that should happen, but cant be certain to happen, but yes

All is splendid

and i am going to stop blogging now, cos other things to do


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Abit Fucked Off Now

i just deleted most of my old profile, and i wanted to keep most of it, just because it was ncie



My Old Myspace Profile Information - Continued

Just A Shoebox Full Of Paranoia & Paradise. My Mind. If You Can Understand That, Then You Understand Me.

To Challenge The Impossible. Thats What All My Goals Are Subject Too. Me Trying To Break Free.

To Hold Your Head Up High, When Everyone Is Looking Down On You. Thats The Person I Want To Be. Everyday.

Save The King, And Be Called A Hero. Save Everyone Else, And Be Called A Legend.

A Moment Can Last Forever, Or A Year Can Go By Like A Flash. Times A Bitch. So I'm Making The Most Of What I Have.

No Tragedy Comes Without Its Love. Find It. Stand Up To It.

To Believe In A Form Of Normality, Is To Be Condemned A Freak. To Relish In Our Differences Is To Experience Unique. Our Individuality Is A Gift.

We Were Given The Gift Of Free Will, And We Took Advantage Of It. To Have A Choice Over Anything That Goes On In Our Lives, Is To Have The Opportunity To Make It Better, But Instead We Took That, And Created Our Own Hells. We Have The Will To Make Things Right Again.

Armoured Cars And Traffic Jams. We Protect Ourselves From Everything Around Us, But We Still End Up Getting Stuck With Everyone Else Trying To Do The Same. An Explanation To My Strange Phrase.

My Anthem. Its The Song Of My Soul. If You'd Only Care To Listen.

First To Care. First To Help. First To Be Forgotten.

Condemned Out Of Spite. Personally I Would Prefer To Go To Hell, Knowing I Have Done All Good I Can, Rather Than Go To Heaven, All Because I Have Asked For Forgiveness At The End. So Out Of Pure Spite, I Hope To Be Condemned.

Stand Up, Be Counted. Hold A Freeze, Wait For The Crowd To Notice. Ultimatum, Sit Down.

Lonely Is A State Of Mind. To Be Surrounded By People Doesn't Make You Any Less Of A Singular In This World Of Fulls. Just Make The Most Of Who You Have, And When You Have Them.

Simple Truths Of Me


Monday, November 24, 2008

My Old Myspace Profile Information

Hi, My Name Is Sam, And I Live In Adelaide. I Used To Live In England Until 2005, When I Moved Out Here To Australia. I Am Now Having The Best Time Of My Life.
I Love My Friends, And Everthing Is Great, And So Woot Woot.

I Can Be Very Opinionated, And When I Believe That Something Is Right I Will Fight For It Until My Face Explodes, And I Have Been Known To Get Near Enough To.

I Like To Be Happy As Much As Is Humanly Possible, I Hate .Feeling Sad, So I Never Let Myself Feel Like It. Well, Not When People Are Around.

I Have Been Known To Hold All My Feelings In, And I Reckon That Is Pretty True. I Wont Open Up, Because I Don't Like Other People Having To Deal With What Is Going ON With Me, I Would Much Prefer To Sit Back And Try And Help Other People Rather Than Spend Time Talking About What Makes Me Feel Upset.!

I Spend A Lot Of Time Thinking. I Don't Necessarily Mean To, I Just Kinda, Do. I Find It Easy To Think About Stuff, And So I Come Up With Strange Analogies Of Stuff. If You Take It In, It Does Actually Make Sense

I Find It Better To Explain Things Through Metaphors Or Through Strange Connections Of Words. I Am An Irrational Person, So I Find It Hard To Explain Things Rationally. But I Do Try. Its Easier For ME To Write Things Down, Because I Have More Of A Chance To Think. I Often Stutter Or Say Like, If I Haven't Had The Chance To Think.

I Love My Family More. I Am Happy With My Friends More. I Am Myself More When I Am Alone. You Can Say I Am A Faker, Or You Can Say I Pretend, Or That I Put On Too Much Of A Mask. But At Least I Can See My Own Disguises, And See When I Am Pretending And Hiding. Its All To Save Myself From My Own Flaws. One Day I Wont Need To Be Alone To Feel Myself. Until Then, You Can Just Judge The Un Judgeable.

I Like It When People Listen To Me. Generally People Don't Seem To. They Hear That I Am Speaking, But Never Tend To Listen To What I Am Saying. People Tend To Not Realize How Smart I Can Really Be. They just Seem To Only Listen When I Am Saying The Stupid Things.

I Believe I Am Relatively Intellectual. HAHA, What Am I Saying, I Am Practically A Genius. My Mumsy Is The Person I Get Most Of My Smarts From, She Is The Smartest Woman I Know, And So It Has Rubbed Of Onto Me. I Cant Understand Sometimes How People Can Just Be So Stupid, LOL. People Like That Annoy Me, HAHA.

I Am An Empathetic Person. Not Often Sympathetic, LOL, But Empathetic. It Works For Me. I Can Understand The Feelings And Emotions And Stuff Behind People, But I Often Don't Feel Sympathetic, Because I Also Understand That There Are Billions Of People In The World Who Have It Worse, So Yeh. But I Do Like To Comfort And Help Out, As Much As I Can, But I Wont Give Them My Sympathy.

I Am Very Very Weird Sometimes. I Do Odd Things, Because Sometimes I Dont Really Think About It Laterally, I Just Do Things. Sometimes I Feel So Tangled Up In Some Form Of Feeling, That The Only Way Out Is Kinda By Doing Something That Some Would Class AS Weird OR Strange Or Odd Or Whatever. I AM Fine With That, And I Hope People Can Accept That Of Me Too.

I May Be Random, But There Is A Point.

To Be Continued ...

I Like To Be Incredibly Random And Spontaneous.!!
Some Of The Best Decisions I Make Are The Ones That Take No Time To Think Of.!!
I Want To Save The Wolrd.!!

I Want To Have The Greatest Adventure Imaginable.!!

Create your own Friend Test here

Number 23

This is my 23rd Post in this month


thats creepy

23 is significant in some way


ok, i'm being ridiculous


I Hand You All The Christmas Pineapple
Only A Few People Are Pleased With There Gift
So Many People Seem To Be Questioning
What They Should Be Doing With The Dam Thing
Simple, Its A Pineapple, A Christmas Pineapple
You place It On The Mantle Piece Forever
Thats If You Consider Me A True Friend
Otherwise You Eat It, So Perfectly
It Surely Would Be Quite Scrumptious.



well this is a stupid post

dam you all

i love you

my family are odd people

if you like pina colada

good bye


Defined - Six

Are we defined by who we are
or more precisely
who we want to be

our aspiration and our dreams
our desires as human beings, and what we want to become
the future we wish to have

i have been thinking recently a lot about where i want to go with my life
and i think i have cracked the desires and dreams i wish to for fill and my aspirations of life
but as it seems, the things i wish in life are harder to get than you'd expect

so i wonder sometimes
should i push towards my dreams, irrelevant to how hard it might be to complete the
and when i think like that, i answer myself quite quickly

of course
so thats what i am going to do, fight for the impossible
wish for the dream that others don't see

Dream Sequence 7
do you get it
probably not

ok well, anyways
i have had little human contact today
my mind has gone to my hands

i need to life a bit more humanly for the rest of the week
so i shall try my best to do more, rather than sit around all day, 'relaxing'
Threedom, mhm

so anyways, i love those i love
i hate those i hate
i wish for the ones who wish for there own dreams


Dream Sequence 7

A Scared man crawls from behind a rock
he is shocked to see nothing is around
his dreams already shattered
now his whole world is gone too

a young woman runs up to this rock
and is shocked to see a man, cowering behind it
her dream already begun
now she shall share it with this one too

his short black hair soaked by the rains
her long dazzling red hair shining around
his stuttery voice breaks the silence
her mind opens up, racing faster than ever

'who are you, whats has happened'
he asks, wiping is face of dirt
'my dreams have been answered dear
stranger, for now we are free'

he stands up, and looks at the girl
'but my dreams are dead, i have nothing'
she tilts her head to the side, confused
'you can still complete your dreams

we are free sir' she finishes, content
he stops and looks around, all is empty
she looks and him and puts out her hand
'come on, we have a whole world to explore'

-by Sam Lane

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Running Out Of Things To Say

hi there, children
i am serioulsy losing my braint train here
my thought process is dieing
but yeh
i feel like bloggin
but i dont have anything to say
so i am just like, rambling til i come up with something


thats what i do

just ramble away and then coe up with something interesting to talk about


nothings really going on

i aint really emotional these days

nothing to be emotional about for me


i have lazed about here or gone out and had fun with friends

so its all looking up for me for now

i'm waiting for the shit to hit and fan and stuff

but for now i am sailing on by


hm, my 'I Am Clara' thing i think is pretty cool

it is an idea i have had for a while now, and i just started a sentence in my last blog and went with it

the story of Clara, is that in her lifetime she is going to go through a heck of alot of shit

and i mean, like, a cruel amount

and then at the end of the last chapter, i have this most beautifully poetic idea

but yes, a cruel amount of Raw pain and suffering

like her unnecessary rape

the pretence for her birth is she will be born an addict, straight away she will be a head case

terrible thing

lots of terrible ideas i have going on for this dear little girls life

her parents are nut jobs too

her mothers a drug addict, high on alot of stuff and her father is an out rageous Neo-Nazi

yay for dysfunctional

she will fall in love, she will have SO much pain in her life

its a terrible idea for a story

but i want to write it

i have the idea so perfect in my head

Clara is the western worlds pains all roled into one

she lives the life no one wants to live


its just so beautiful

and poetic

and saddeningly terrible and tragic

ah well

moving on


i cant think of anything i think is worth talking about

soi yeh



'I Am Clara'

A stranger walks in to a bar
offers to buy everyone a drink
only 3 people accept

one is an alcoholic, he'll take anything for free
the second is the bar keeper
the third is a young woman

she introduces herself to the stranger
'Hello, I Am Clara'
the stranger turns to her, and looks her over

'why would you take a drink from a stranger'
he asks, questioning the young lady before him
her dark hair just tickling her shoulders, as she replies

'for i trust my judgement more that yours'
he simply smiles
'i am but a stranger, you know nothing of me'

she giggles
'and you know just as much of me.
sir, you chose to offer drinks to people

who in all there life's have done nothing for you
so i decided to return the favor, by accepting the drink
from someone who i have done nothing for'

'sure doll, whatever you say'
'i find pleasure in knowing
that trust is still alive in this world'

Clara wakes up, the stranger gone from her life.
the hope that it was all a dream, disappears
as she notices her newly raped body

she recollects the evening before
the changes being, they never spoke
except for the simple words

'stop screaming, bitch'
she shivers as the memories come back
as she realizes who she has become

Clara just takes a sigh
moves from the gutter
and continues with her life again

'I Am Clara' - an extract

i made it up on the spot, but i have the basis for the story of 'I Am Clara'
its quite a terrible story

but yeh

felt like letting people read


Saturday, November 22, 2008

Quick Question

If I Gave You A Pineapple For Christmas, Would You Eat It, Or Save It Forever?

i would like peoples answers

because as random as this question may seem

it is actually quite deep and philosophical


and is kind of a proof that a lot of what i say has meaning behind it

so yeh

The Beautiful Escape

He runs.
From What?
Nothing, theres nothing behind him.
Just him, in a field of tulips.
From himself.
Where is he going.
The tulips never end.
The hedge never arrives.
So he shall be running.

A Bird Calls.
He stops.
He catches himself.
He looks behind.
He's where he began.
He looks back infront.
He's already at the end.
A Glance up.
His will keeps going.
He sits.

The wind blows past.
He smiles.
Watches his will.
The tulips sway.
He lies down.
He is at peace.
He has escaped.
It's Beautiful.
The freedom.

Yeh, well i duno what that is, just a random thing i made up on the spot. a more interesting way to explain stuff, :P

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Pink in french is Rose

i've been wanting to find that out for ages, and finally, YAY, i have found it out

woot woot.

a thought has been brought up in my scrolling of the world. is it going to be that people are just going to assume i am in love with them, because i am, as you might say, more open to anyone.

regardless of how taken i am, it is still practically plausible that people might believe i would just fall for anyone, well not anyone, but those of a specific variety, 50% of the population, the other 50% to the percent that i am not in. mm

is it going to be the conclusion people are going to make, when i decide to out of the blue start taking an interest, LOL, well yes, but hhmm. it makes me wonder, would they have thought that if they didnt know, is it just because they assume now it is plausible, that that is the only answer, how self centered and tragic.

tragic is my new word of choice, everything is tragic.

Tout est tragique

un jour, tout doit être sain d'esprit nouveau, et nous allons vivre dans la pièce. Jusque-là, j'espère que les gens juste être ouvert d'esprit et accepter pour moi qui je suis en train d'être.


i believe that that french is probably grammatically incorrect. google translator i doubt is actually that good, but eh, my point has been made

Je souhaite pour l'amant parfait

french is such a beautiful language, but moving on, :P

i have had a very uneventful day, really. other than theoreticly put my head on the chopping block and hope that my prays would be answered and zorro would save the day, it has been uneventful. oh and brilliantly relaxing, mm yeh.

my optimism keeps me standing.

oh my god, i have just realised something, something that i shall keep to my self, i think, but that is shiningly brilliant.

OMG, the other j has been trying to get my attention. oh wow, if i think back, wow.

hhmm, honestly, i feel the desire for some honest love, and if you think about it, honestly, the one i am kinda in someways chasing, would be the perfect person to grant love.

think about it, Jazz (the name i am giving to this person) has loved undoubtedly everyone jazz has ever loved. if you look at the track record, jazz has loved continuously and even kinda to an annoying level, maybe

but i feel some need to that, i think, maybe, i duno, i am being weird

but this other J, i think would be a better match, probably

how tragic that i am thinking like this, when i have a j of my own, already in my possession, but that i am thinking of much, with out considering that.


Si seulement mon coeur savait ce qu'il voulait.

Sudden fasinaction with speaking french

haha, yes

i have recently been liking french words

note my french numbers in my defined collection of posts

and my use of Rouge which means red

ah, french


hhmm, there language is nice enough, the people, probably terrible

i thought about it

and one year i am going to spend a whole year in a little mountain village in france

in a nice cottage

and i will grow my own produce and become great friends with the villagers and it will be lovely

and i will escape time

and like mm

one day i will do that

it'll be good



love you


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Defined - Cinq

The Talonless Eagle.
I would hate to think i was disliked by one of my J's
how terrible
tragic as my shoebox's cluttering is, it would be more tragic to think that the terrible essence of this could make things odder. hhmm

i am an odd person.
i really truly am, and i love it.
this blog is pretty pointless as it has to point to it, and no rhythm and no lyrics and nothing, it is just noise.
i love the chaos theory. a lot of what i do and how i act and what i say, most probably fits perfectly into chaos theory, in some way or another.

ah, chaos.
does opening one door close another.
no all doors are open just a jar.

cinq is a disappointment as of yet, i hope to futurily say something so outwardly baffling and awe inspiringly brilliant that all will be re corrected and fine again.
limited likelihood of that, but still i continue.
LaRouge, that song shall be brilliant, as undefined it is at this present moment, but yet still i can see the brilliance in it, because of such rawness in its ways.
speaking of rawness, Jes Woolford's singing, OMFG, i love it, gave me goosebumps, GAH, lovely.

any who, i am random, therefore i have no strike structure, yes or no.
no, i have structure, just displayed in cryptically well thought out and rhythmic notions. mhm.
No more effing school, woot, there is a possibility of a pile of blogs being posted all throughout the holidays, thats quite terrible
oo i need somewhere to stay over new years, otherwise i must got to some place near moonta, god no
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, potato chips, no crisps.

i like to make up stuff on my 'sisters' keyboard.
i've made some interesting crap, it ain't brilliant, it ain't a masterpiece, but it is interesting, it is perfectly simple and honest, so pfft to you, haha.
firstly, i need to no that i ain't being disliked, just simply because in any case of the matter, i wouldn't like that, because i don't dislike, so mmmmmmmm.
i truly am a terrible person, but honestly, and this is honesty right here, i don't care.

i need to consider what i am going to write next time, before i actually start writing, otherwise in get into terrible strifes like this, where i am rambling and talking crap.
yaya, no more school, woot woot.
i wish to one day play the cello, because i duno, i just love that instrument, haha. odd huh.
all will one day be fine.

tragically and terribly.
i hope to one day, know i am doing what is right, for all involved.
is it always worth it.
i love you all, good day, good evening and good night. you are in my dreams.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

One Day You Will Hear These On The Radio!

This Is The Collecting Of All The Albums And Song Titles I Have Collaborated Over The Past Few Weeks. They Don't Mean Much To You, And Aren't Necessarily What They Seem, But Eh, I Thought I Would Show You, Enjoy.

Spontaneous Randomist With An Agenda Volumes 1 & 2 :

  1. Beach Time
  2. Silhouette.
  3. Plant Room.
  4. Coffee Table Handbook.
  5. Daylight Savings Time.
  6. Silk Pizza Special.
  7. The Waiter For The Joker.
  8. Simple Originality.
  9. Cocktail Of Inspiration.
  10. Undefined.
  11. Heartsong.
  12. Anon.
  13. Lemon Cheesecake, Melon Fights And Dog Biscuits.
  14. Fizzy Jolly Bubble Dream Rainbow Ride.
  15. Wire Woman, Metal Man.
  16. Red Lily.
  17. My Pocket Holds My Heart.
  18. Dear Sister.
  19. Dime Soldier.
  20. Contagious.
  21. Lighter Fuel Baby Cradle.
  22. Pine Loud.
  23. Dreamchild.
  24. Mint Caller.
  25. I Sold Your Hate To A Spanish Woman With 3 Black Children And The Cat With The Limp.
Ultimatum :

  1. Saving The World.
  2. Orb Trust.
  3. Calculations.
  4. Waterfall Desert Of Panda's.
  5. Penguin Kingdom.
  6. 6.
  7. Winter Breeze.
  8. Yellow Is A Colour.
  9. Irish And Sober.
  10. My Mother Is Scottish.
  11. Pink Painted Wendy.
  12. Mind And Pencil Sharpener.
  13. One More Tool To Lock Away.
  14. Father O'Theory.
Letters :

  1. Dear Friend Of Santa.
  2. I Hope.
  3. I Through This Page.
  4. Far Enough.
  5. My Paper Planes.
  6. R.
  7. Getting Grander.
  8. I Hope You Could Help Me.
  9. My Dilemma.
  10. I Innocently.
  11. Have Been.
  12. Naughty.
  13. Tell Your Friend.
  14. My Heart Can't Tell The Difference And My Brain Can't Control My Heart.
  15. Yours Thankfully.
  16. Sam.
  17. P.S. Happy New Year.
Name Change Anthems Volume 1 & 2 :

  1. Dirty Rotten Saint.
  2. Butterfly Child Of The Air.
  3. Standard Lime.
  4. A Brass Captains Shoulder.
  5. Cartons Me Silver.
  6. Welcome To Suburbia.
  7. Tapestry Glen.
  8. One Mike Night.
  9. Jack Short Stack.
  10. Lake April.
  11. Trumpeton.
  12. Superhero.
  13. The Galaxy Of Mash.
  14. 14 Fireplaces.
  15. Sally.
  16. Dear Megan (Memphis Is Their Child).
  17. Young Children, Second Hand Smoke.
  18. Highway In Haggersby Hove.
  19. Dorothy.
  20. We'll Make Wine.
  21. Dusty Piano, Broken Guitar String And Constant Humming.
  22. Daffodil Day.
  23. 3 Lines Later.
Straw Houses :

  1. Steel Drum Ballad.
  2. Little Boxes.
  3. Brother.
  4. I Struggle To Hold My Breath.
  5. Raw Sugar.
  6. Pirates.
  7. I Am The Tears.
  8. The End.
  9. Stormy Nights And Wedding Bells.
  10. 9 Bottles Of Jam.
  11. Symphony.
  12. The Second Scarless Sample.
Enemy To Eden For Eighteen Minutes :

  1. LaRouge.
  2. Congratulations.
  3. Beat Keeper, Only Child.
  4. Uncanny.
  5. Lesbian Boy.
  6. Gore, Card And Kidd.
  7. Bus Ticket Time Travel.
  8. 7 Raindrops Before Re-Distribution.
  9. Alliterathom.
  10. Well Petal.
  11. Lucky Guess, Princess.
  12. Laundry Light.
  13. Cello.
Which Side Can We Smoke On Episodes 1 - 3 :

  1. Killer Back Pain.
  2. Sonnet Of Noir.
  3. Silver Smiles.
  4. Caressing No Carrots.
  5. Shelley Was A Pipe Cleaner.
  6. Peroxide Pedophile.
  7. Salinesome.
  8. Samba.
  9. Fish Mallory And Steven.
  10. The Adventurer.
  11. Pilot.
  12. The First Dance.
  13. Photo Album.
  14. Tea Leaves And Chess.
  15. SL-CARES.
  16. Nightingale Lullaby.
  17. Nan And Gramps.
  18. Page Count: 17.
Bliss And Bacon :

  1. Mr Rocky Are You Pregnant, Let Me Hear Your Heart Beat.
  2. Through The Looking Glass.
  3. One Stubborn Nail.
  4. My Box Of Crap.
  5. Key To The Kitchen.
  6. Megaphone Sex.
  7. Myspace Pout Revolution.
  8. Honest Lies.
  9. Gravy Stains.
  10. Giraffes Make Me Look Short.
  11. Wellington Boots Are For When Its Raining Dear, So Wear Something More Appropriate Ok, Yeah, Thats Better Son.
  12. Honesty Of Harold.
  13. The Trial Of Tigger And Thomas.
Threedom :

  1. Paint By Numbers.
  2. Buddha's Wallet.
  3. The Wall Plug Socket.
  4. 96 Pages.
  5. Worn Down Shoes And Cardboard Comics.
  6. Yellow Elephant.
  7. The Asphalt Cult.
  8. Palm Tree Genie.
  9. 12th Notice.
  10. 10.
  11. Carrier Pigeon From Scotland.
  12. Pavement People (The Kingdom Of The Homeless).
  13. Shattered Mirror.
  14. Stability Claims.
  15. Irony.

Defined - Quatre

We are not defined by the mistakes we make
but by the way we handle them
i would love to think, that that was a quotable thing to say
i would love to be quoted

like, proper quoted, not some lame, oh and sam said this, blah blah, shit
ah, the days go by.
^^first full stop, woo woo, doesn't actually make sense because only commas have been my choice of punctuation, but eh
what is it with the letter j

when i thought about writing this blog this evening, i thought i would have more to say, but my mind has decided to leave my head and go on a jolly jump around the country, leaving me to ramble on, until i get my train of thought back.
ah, thank you mcglasses, thats right, i cant rationalize, that is where my avoidance of questions comes from, dam chicken wings.
ah, my train is falling off the tracks, dammit
fat controller do you read me, fat controller, AHHH

i dont like public displays of affection
especially ones involving me, and another man
honestly, i am not comfortable with the whole thing
the whole, like, gah

i dont feel comfortable talking about my sexuality
it is way too personal to me
this is the first blog i have ever put a mention to it
i just dont feel comfortable when people ask questions, or when people like keep mentioning it, or when it seems to obvious to people because there is some guy hanging off me. i dont feel comfortable with the whole thing, because honestly, its WAY too personal to me

and i know, that people will ask questions, fair enough.
but that doesnt mean i have to be fine with it.
its one of those things, i duno. i think the best way to describe it is if you have cancer, or a really terrible scar, and like you have been covering it up, or like not letting people know about it and stuff, and then all of a sudden, people are asking questions, and its just like, this is one of those things that is like mm, and like, gah.
and i also dont want to be defined by \certain aspects of my life. i dont want to think that it makes me any different, or changes who i am. its just one of those things that i like to keep to myself i guess.

its been bothering me.
and this whole, latching on, and also the whole, bragging and telling everyone thing, that mr McTall seems to have a constant desire to do, is kinda not what i want at all.
the sad thing is, is i still dont feel like i have the strength to do anything about it anymore, i just cant be bothered with trying to control the stuff that wont control itself.
i duno, if that sounded harsh, in my mind, i thihk i was kinda trying to make it sound harsh, but eh

i have a constant mixing of emotions sometimes.
with the random J's that appear.
piss them and shit fuck
wow i dont think i have swore before on a blog, i probably have, but this seems more significant, maybe.

things might be better if they were different
might, haha, most certainly. which is quite tragic if you think about it, all very very tragic and terrible.
the terror of the truth. cant be scared of the reqality. if my heart and soul was given the choice, a free chjoice to do whatever it so desires, i know exactly what it would choose, but i fear that in the end, the heart and soul wont be able to control my generaly good nature, and therefore the rut that i get stuck in, will eventually take over. which is terrible and tragic and all around nasty, and not fair in anyways, for any member.
i could be all selfish and do the right thing, or i could do the wrong thing, but to be totally selfless. what a shit tastic dilemma, that hasnt even happened yet, and with a likely hood of practially zero, then why do i worry

because i know where my heart lies
i know where everyones elses does too
ah, the Shoebox is crazed.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Stupid Little Girls

ok, so my sister is being bitched at.

like, people are calling her names and such, and my sister is kinda a woose sometimes and kinda really take people just blindlky insulting her, no matter how ridiculously out of touch the insults are, :P

my sister is in no way a blonde pornstar, a) she is too young to be a pornstar, she is 12, people w0uld get arrested for things like that, b) she is the least 'sexual' (URGH, there 12 how in anyway could any of them be sexual (but believe be, some are)) out of most of her friends, i mean tehre are stories of some girl putting her hand down another guys pants, for crying out loud, now theres your pornstar

i find it quite offensive, for idiots to think that can offend a Lane like that, with such stupid insults. its insulting to think that they arent willing to be smarter

i got a message in my truthbox on myspace the other day calling me a cradle snatcher


wtf. it made me laugh so much. because does someone hate me that much, that they would find something so ridiculous as to say cradle snatcher.

it is common knowlefge that all the people i have gone out with have been no less that 3 months younger than me, so where in the world could i be a cradle snatcher

its insulting to think that they couldnt actually use there brain for an insult, but in other ways so flatteringly pleasing to know that people are willing to sound so stupid just to, i duno, make me 'wither away in fear' or something


people are idiots

and no idiot can insult a Lane


Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Back Hurts

A quick blog to explain how much physical pain i am in



i can't move properly

haha, i just sneezed and it hurt my back

it hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to walk, it hurts to lie down

damn back pain

die in a whole


the end

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I Am The Tear

I Am The Tear As You Cry
I Am The Moments As You Die
I Am The Mountain In The Sky
I Am The Air While You Fly

lyrics i thought up

yey me

i think the sentences could be mixed up and made more powerful or something


i am in allot of physical pain. i feel sick. my back is aching all the time, i can hardly walk with out having to hold myself. i am tired, cant sleep, getting more and more insomniac as time goes on, dam shit.

i am in random bouts of mental pains as well. well more like housewife pains. as in, a housewife with illusion the pain isn't there, like on love actually when Emma Thompson's character goes into the bedroom and cries because she figures out her husband is cheating on her, but her family never sees her cry, thats housewife pains, suburban pains, pretending it ain't there.

i am still adding to my collection of song titles. its brilliant. truly. and also i realized something last night. i can sing, kinda. i have a limited range, but if i warmed up properly i reckon i could sing damn fine.

ah, my facade of normality. my pedestrianism. my stressed out, over the top, subtle to the boiling point aggression and anger towards the ones that make me feel stupid, but that are finding it harder than the rest of us to stay alive. 8 god dammit, 8. fuck. that is too young to want to die. that is to young to want to be the one to do it. its too young to try.

all i can say, is congratulations.

well done

you should feel proud of yourselves

ah, other issues piling on top

that same 8 year old 8 years later, feeling close to the god dam same. how is that fair. pains aren't meant to re appear, they are meant to move on and new ones replace it. thats fair. get a share of all pains. if we are going to have to endure pains our hole lifes cant we have some variety, jeez.

i don't know what i can do. thats whats making me sicker. the idea that i know there is something wrong, and the fact that i can't be someones savior, because i don't know what to do. all i can do, its re a line the mind sets of those around all that is going on. the causers.



I Am The Wiper Of The Tears As You Cry.
I Am There To Make The Moments As You Die.
I Am Trying To Climb The Mountain In The Sky.
I Am The Gentle Lift In The Air As You Fly.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Mind Race

Ok so as of sunday i have wrote approxamately 5 albums worth of song titles, that i will one day turn into songs. of course it is nonsensical and unconnected, but eh


i am more of a pedestrian now for the traffic has conjested

my illusion is un complete yet still rolling


this shall be a short one

cos i aint in the mood atm

but yeh

happy brithday billy and my brother

and tada and congratulation all people who successfully destroyed an 8 year olds spirit

truely, congratualtions

Monday, November 10, 2008

Toggle On Weirdo

So yesterday, i was at the beach, cos it is my brothers birthday tomoro, and we went down to have something to eat and go to the beach and shit

and i spent alot of time in my own thoughts being incredibly random

i was singing to my self, all sorts of random lyrics and tunes, forming all sorts of cryptic messages that i could sing to anyone and be all like, yesum thats me

i wish i could sing superbly

i mean. i would sing in spite of if i could or not, but i would sure like to be able to sing well

that would be much better, you know

haha, i am such a random person.

i was noting down all the titles for the songs, and i ended up with 25 songs that i could make as random as possible, but still have a defiant message in it. i think that is quite an achieve meant.

of course they were all random unconnected random things like, Dime Soldier, Beach Time and Lemon Cheesecake, Melon Fights And Dog Biscuits. lol

and the greatest one of all

I Sold Your Hate To The Spanish Woman With The 3 Black Children And The Cat With The Limp, All For Some Ice Cream And Those Dam Cheerio's.

ahha, i am such a freak

one day you will be listening to that song, going 'WTF man!!'


Spontaneous Randomist With An Agenda, thats me, if i were to make an album that would be the title

haha, i shall make my soings, and they shall be random, yet inspirational, and make people cry, and laugh and understand, and be inspired


I Truely Am The Pedestrian Amongst The Traffic.

la la la la

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Troll Hunters Guide To Sewing Chicken Together

A string of random thoughts has entered my head
i am in another one of my opdd moods where everything needs be random and conjoined at the hip

i am a weirdo, leave me alone

red lily mmmmmmm

the 'pornographic' description of blood, how odd, yet i can be odder, ney, i will be odder. lol

it is talonless eagles that which i feel most sharpest of grasps, for they are willing to still try, even tho it is nearly more impossible than all else they try

i am meant to be doing homework

oh and if anyone can figure the meaning to that tolonless eagle thing, give me a bell and i will tell you if you are right or wrong or just plain stupid, ahha

i feel really sick and like mm

and fat


not really, i aint fat, your fat, lol

i am in an odd mood, and like a mood where i dont really know what is up but i feel the need to be more odder than i feel and so therefore express unnaturally high levels of odd and so here i am

my flow of words conjoins with my unnecerssary desire to just be me

i dont know

odd, strange, confusing much

hold fire on the poor lad with the twisted leg .... wait til we tie him down first

haha, odd and kinda sadistic

i shall stop this now, before i am committed for being paranoid schizophrenic with ADD and Alzheimer, yaya

love you all, but more the stars, for they dont mock me, yet show me the way

and so on and so forth shall darth vadar be my father and forever hold your peice


Thursday, November 6, 2008

Defined - Trois

What Am I Even Defining.
Nothing Really, Except Maybe My Thoughts And Tribulations.
Trois, Three, Third, Thrice. Yep. My Third Defined And I Have Defined Nothing More Than My Obnoxious Ramblings, And My Incessant Desire To Have Everything Aligned To The Right Side Of The Page.
I Am A Douche Sometimes, In The Way I Do Things Because I Feel Like It.

As I Stated Previously. These Blogs Relax Me.
Thats What I Use Them For, To Relax, De Stress, Release Excess Negativity. Although, I Have Started To Be More Positive In My Blogs, Which I Think Is A Good Thing. Yey.
The Calm Before The Storm Maybe. Or Maybe Just Things Going In The Right Direction.
The Latter Will Be Good I Think.

McGlasses And McDrums Concern Me At The Moment. Both Of Wish Seem To Be Having Bad Weeks.
Due To The Departure Of The Year 12's.
There Isn't Much I Can Do, Other Than Just Be A Friend.
McBass Is Such A Lovely Person. Yey For People.

I Spent A Few Minutes Down Science, And Felt Comfortable Enough To Spend More.
But I Still Prefer Music. The Atmosphere Is Better, And I Love The People There Just A Little Too Much To Leave Them.
Smiles Make Me Happier.
I Think I Am Happier.

I Am Wondering, Whether I Am Feeling Myself Again. I Think I May Be.
But When I Stop, I Duno. I Don't Feel Like Myself These Days Still. I Think, Maybe. I Just Feel Odd. Not Myself. Its So Hard To Explain.
I Don't Know. I Will Just Be Who I Want To Be. A Good Person.
I Am Strong Tho. Which Is Good. I Have My Will Power Back. I Think. But Like, I Feel Strong.

I Just Feel A Bit Uncertain, Undefined.
I Will Just Have To Go With The Flow A Bit More.
I Need To Think Less Maybe. I Don't Know. Thats Hard For Me. I Think To Much, Because It Is So Easy For Me. I Can Think About Anything And Like It Can Be Quick And Like, Mmm.
I Think If I Stopped Like Thinking, The Way I Think. I Think I May Truly No Longer Be Myself.

I Need To Find My Center.
I Need To Breath Some More.
I Need To Channel My Soul A Bit, Lol.
I Shall Be Ok. I Am Always Ok. I Am Strong And I Have Ultimate Will Power And Optimism On My Side, :P.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Defined - Deux

I Am Undefined.
As I Seem To Like To State.
I Think Its Because I Still Feel A Bit Lost In My Own Head.
Which Ain't Necessarily A Bad Thing, Just An Odd Thing.

People Interest Me.
As I Like To Be Interesting Too. So I Like To See What Makes Others Interesting As Well. Mmm.
I Am So Odd Sometimes.
These Blogs Are For The Sake Of Nothing Now.

I Don't Quite Have Much To Say. But I Like To Write Blogs, Because I Find It Relaxing. Mmm.
People Are Complicated Things.
We Don't Realize How Complicating We Really Are, We Take Ourselves For Granted. Maybe.
There Are People Out There I Find The Oddest, Or The Most Confusing.

2 Alex's Make Me Wonder, Another One Just Makes Me Sick.
Tight Nit 'J's Make Wonders In My Head.
A Cavorting 'J' Makes Me Worried, Or Otherwise Just Wonder.
An Set Of Uncanny Misfits Makes My Day Feel Warmer.

Billis Seems A Better Mate These Days.
And Little Miss Sunshine Is So Special Too.
While McLala Just Seems To Make Me Feel Better All The Time, Even Tho She Isn't The Happiest Bunny, She Is Still A Lovely Person To See Each Day.
Science Isn't A Place I Feel I Need To Avoid. I Just Haven't Felt Like Visiting Yet.

Defining All That Is Around Me.
All Seems Well, I Feel Happier.
Yay, xx.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Defined - Un

Well, I Am A Negative Person. Honestly.
I Have To Be, Otherwise I Wouldn't Be Able To Appreciate The Positive.
But Then Again, I Prefer To Be Happy.

I Am A Strange Person.
My Definition.
Strange. Weird. Uncanny. Odd. Interesting. Freaky. Random.

Honestly, I Don't Care What Most People Think Of Me.
Except Of Course. Those People Out There That I Put So Much Trust Into.
Then I Kinda Start To Care.

As Love Is. As Normal Is. As Chaos Is. As Humanity Is.
Always Undefined, But Used As A Certainty Of Knowledge.

I'm Being Cryptic (Sorry Larissa(You Said In A Blog You Didn't Like Things Being Cryptic)
I Like Being Cryptic.
It Helps Me Relax And Feel Like I Can Say What I Like.

My Actions Don't Comply With My Thoughts.
Yet My Heart Allows All To Happen.
All Is Unwell.


Thought Provoking

Sometimes I Wonder
What Makes Up Love?
What Creates It?
What Changes It?
What Challenges It?

I Wonder
How Can Love Be So Fickle?
How Can It Be So Diverse?
How Can It Be So Different?
How Can It Be So Individual?

For If We Have
Our Certainty's On What Love Is.
Then Can Anyone Define It.

Just A Thought!

Monday, November 3, 2008

I Have Been Here 3 Years

On Saturday, 1st November, It was the anniversary of when i had first some to australia, and marked the 3rd year i have been living here