Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I Am The Tear

I Am The Tear As You Cry
I Am The Moments As You Die
I Am The Mountain In The Sky
I Am The Air While You Fly

lyrics i thought up

yey me

i think the sentences could be mixed up and made more powerful or something

mm

i am in allot of physical pain. i feel sick. my back is aching all the time, i can hardly walk with out having to hold myself. i am tired, cant sleep, getting more and more insomniac as time goes on, dam shit.

i am in random bouts of mental pains as well. well more like housewife pains. as in, a housewife with illusion the pain isn't there, like on love actually when Emma Thompson's character goes into the bedroom and cries because she figures out her husband is cheating on her, but her family never sees her cry, thats housewife pains, suburban pains, pretending it ain't there.

i am still adding to my collection of song titles. its brilliant. truly. and also i realized something last night. i can sing, kinda. i have a limited range, but if i warmed up properly i reckon i could sing damn fine.

ah, my facade of normality. my pedestrianism. my stressed out, over the top, subtle to the boiling point aggression and anger towards the ones that make me feel stupid, but that are finding it harder than the rest of us to stay alive. 8 god dammit, 8. fuck. that is too young to want to die. that is to young to want to be the one to do it. its too young to try.

all i can say, is congratulations.

well done

you should feel proud of yourselves

ah, other issues piling on top

that same 8 year old 8 years later, feeling close to the god dam same. how is that fair. pains aren't meant to re appear, they are meant to move on and new ones replace it. thats fair. get a share of all pains. if we are going to have to endure pains our hole lifes cant we have some variety, jeez.

i don't know what i can do. thats whats making me sicker. the idea that i know there is something wrong, and the fact that i can't be someones savior, because i don't know what to do. all i can do, its re a line the mind sets of those around all that is going on. the causers.

why do 8 year olds also have to make things harder by feeling guilty about other stuff. MARSHMALLOWS AND STEW, AH, RANDOM WORDS EXPRESSING NOTHING MORE THAT AN AGGRAVATED UNCONTROLLED PAIN THAT SEEPS THROUGH MY EXISTENCE TAUNTING MY EVERY WHIM AND CONTORTS INTO NOTHING MORE THAN charity.

:'(

I Am The Wiper Of The Tears As You Cry.
I Am There To Make The Moments As You Die.
I Am Trying To Climb The Mountain In The Sky.
I Am The Gentle Lift In The Air As You Fly.

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