so last night, i was sent to bed by my mother, at about 10 15
i wanted to stay up, to watch some heroes
but my mummy said that she likes to spend the few hours before she goes to sleep, by herself
and that she wanted me to go to bed
i was upset, because i wanted to watch heroes
but i didn't protest
and so i went to bed
while in my bed things about everything, i had a sudden epiphany
OMG, we dont have the second season of Veronica Mars
i love that show
why dont we have the second season
so i decided to go out of my bedroom and just address the matter with my dear mother
i walked out in the living room, she wasnt about
i knew she was spending this time sorting washing, so i thought she might be out hanging it up
i stepped out to the back garden
and got the largest whiff of cigarette smoke
i looked around t see my mother sitting on some steps
a glass of wine in her hand and her faces turned away
she leant down
did something
(i think maybe putting out her cigarette)
then turned to me
i decided to ignore the obvious and continued with explaing about the veronice mars thing.
now i have not seen my mother smoke in over 3 years
when we came to australia
she said she was going to give them up
and i believed that she would
i thought it abit difficult doing it cold turkey
but i thought, if anyone could do it, it would be my mother
she is the strongest person i know
and so when i stepped out side last night
and got the tragic whiff of what i thought had left my life
my heart just sank
not only was she doing it
but she was doing it in secret
every night when she said she likes to spend this time on her own
its because she wants to smoke
it hurts that she lies
i think last night she was scaredof getting caught, because hse tried to cover up
saying that she likes to come out side and get some fresh air
especailly on such a lovely night like last night
i wanted to just spitefully bite back and say
i cant smell any fresh air
but i didnt
i didnt let my mum know that i knew she had been there smoking
i'm pretty sure my dad probably knows
its just so
ah
i dont like smoking
and mm
:(
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awwww, :(
ReplyDeleteaww :( she probably was pretending because she felt ashamed that she couldn't give up, and didn't want to ruin your image of her being so strong...
ReplyDeletemost people need support with giving up things like that
if you show her you aren't ashamed of her even if she does smoke she would probably feel better about it, she probably feels guilty doing it and knowing you think she's not.
idk
i dont like cigarette smoke either
ReplyDeletethe smell often makes me feel unwell
and its so sad
=(
[i know, i'm a little behind... lol]