Thats A Huge Fly, Sitting On The Mesh

So this time next week, Christmas day will have come and gone. Ah, what a shame, i do love Christmas.
I have had the worst build up to Christmas ever this year. I didn't get to help decorate the tree, my parents had some huge rant at us because we went searching for our presents and found them, and just generally the mood around my house has been quite shit hole. But ah well.
Still doesn't change the fact that on Christmas morning, all what shall be forgotten, and for an hour or so, it will simply just be the watchings of our joyous faces, as we open our presents. yay.

Anyways.

i just looked at a lovely selection of pictures, of my sister, on her myspace. SIDE POUTS. she has moved on from the classic, whoreish move of just pouting, now she is doing the side pout, made famous by my dear hatred counterpart, Kelly, uregh. (i use too many commas)
I love me sister, but i continuously get scared by the numbers of stereotypically bimbo-esk pictures that she puts on her Myspace. She is only 12 years old, but she just screams 'FUTURE WHORE' all throughout her Myspace profile and pictures.
Ah, it saddens me to think, of all those bitchy little people, that lurk others myspaces, that will gaze over her Myspace, and just assume she is nothing more than a common garden variety Skank. :'(

:O, there was no Heroes on last night, man i was spewing, LOL. i know whats going to happen, but i would like to witness it myself. i hate channel 7, SO much. do we really need 2 episodes of Bones a week, when Heroes is pushed back to a 10 30 timeslot. whats with channels hating the shows i love. Dont get me started on what they did to Veronica Mars, effing shnitzel.

i spent an oddly large amount of my time, from going to bed, to getting to sleep, last night, thinking about death. A morbid topic, but i couldnt get it out of my head. i occasionally open my mind up to the queasey subject, the majority of times by complete accident. The thought just washes over me, that no matter what, one day, i shall be dead. That one day, i will know what happens once you die, and i have heard many people explain how they dont find it that bad of a subject to think about, but its just kind of one of those undefined certainties of life, and it just kind of opens up alot of other thoughts into my head.
i concluded many different things, including that i thought that there must be something more to us than just organs and liquids. i mean, if you think about it, where do atoms form opinions, where do chemical reactions generate creations, you know. its just so daunting. honestly i cant imagine just, stopping, forever. I am yet to feel confident in the idea, that after we die, we go to some special place like heaven, or for the rest of us, hell.
i have previously had many different ideas on what happens once we pass, but i know, that i will only know the answer, once i am dead. i just hope that this isnt all there is, that we live one life and then are stopped forever. i would wonder where my thoughts would go, and my memories and opinions and everything i had thought, where would that go. i am getting into a talk of saying that we have souls and that our bodies are just a solid host for our spirits. which i would feel comfortable in knowing, but feel it is flaw in some ways.
Ah k, well honestly i have no idea, and its all just basically to help my own fears of whats to come.

I love having a dessert before dinner.

i realised something to other day. all the connection i make with life and stuff, i can always seem to find an example from what i have watched on TV. that is truely because i watch way too much tv, lol. but yes, i make the connections all the time.

well

love love xx