I've been feeling a bit lonely lately. I have been stuck in my house since Wednesday, it being now Sunday, I am feeling a bit Claustrophobic. No one has asked me to do anything. No one has called. No one has stopped and thought about me enough to do anything. But its O.K., I have decided to not care anymore. I shall just have to live out some more of my holidays by myself, that's fine enough.
Its soon Christmas. I love Christmas, because that means, for one day, my whole family, all as one, gets to enjoy having a load of new things together. I thought about it. Realistically I could just wait, save up my money and buy myself these presents, but that's not the point and neither is it that my parents are getting me them, because they love me. No, the point is, is that for one day, as a family we all get to have some gifts. Its not one persons day, its everyone's. Its not one person coming home after a day at Marion, and showing everyone the amazing gift they had bought themselves. Its not about a persons birthday, or getting a treat because they have done well at school. It is simply a day, where no one is specifically anymore special than anyone else, but yet you can spend the day feeling ultimately pleased with the amount of joy and laughter that surrounds you.
I hate this house so much. I hate the fact that when i spend too much time in it, i end up spending the largest majority of that time, in the pantry. I get bored, and so i eat. Surprise surprise, that's how i believe i am the size i am. Its one of my faults. I know it, I own it. I try to change it, and it never works. It upsets me.
I am meant to be at Angela's party tonight. But since my ride fell through, I didn't end up going. Not that I couldn't go, its just i didn't feel like accepting the pity seat, where i needed to be squished in. I sometimes grow a large amount of dignity and self pride, and i was too pissed to loose it. I hold no grudge, I just feel rather let down. But that's nothing a simple trip to Marion, to buy me some clothes, couldn't fix. (hint hint)
I am now on a quota of 5 blogs. 'One Word' was a simple idea I came up with today, and I think it may work well. While '2009' will be pretty self explanatory one the 1st January. I have some new things i wish to try out, I hope they work.
Love Love xx