Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Today, was weird. Also, it felt rather pointless. Well, the school work and the necessity to be at school. I think that's probably because it is so close to the holidays, which shall be SWEET!! Just on the basis that it won't be school, :P.

I believe that most kids would probably be counting down til the end of this term. Hoorah.

I'm interested to see how many people stick to there plans of doing homework through the holidays. I hope I do, I should, I am kinda keen to.


I should have gone to the forum.

I now have the number I always secretly wanted. No one realises how excited I was when I realised it had fallen into my lap. None of them realise either. Oblivious.

Also oddity in the way that someone questioned why they didn't find out about my orientational-ness until after other people. I guess it just felt like another slash that didn't need to be done. But still, it does bring up questions in my mind. But I shall explain to the dear.

Who knows? How many people? As many as I wished didn't? Ah, not what I wanted at all. A little, would have been much better.Should I tell my parents? What reasons do I have to justify needing to tell them?

I know who I want to tell next. So that is who I shall tell. Otherwise, I wish people had never found out. Never knew. Never thought anything. Sometimes I wish that, and then other times I am fine with it. Things are turning out how they were meant to, sadly.


Ah, a topic that most think they understand, but no one really does. I think children have it right. Innocence and simplicity. Its how life was meant to be lived. But we have corrupted life with these ideals and expectations.

I heard someone say something like that before, and I am trying to recreate what they said in my mind. Its not working, obviously.

Simply, as adults (young adults) we tend to believe that children are naive and so utterly unaware of what the future holds, that there believes on what life is meant to be like, must be wrong. I am simply trying to say, that maybe children have it right, in all the ideas of living for fun and freedom and such, but as we grow up, it has been drummed into us that that is not how life is meant to be, that eventually we just start accepting it, and living our lives like that anyways. Which is a sad thought process and a sad transition in life, if you think about it. Like I just did.

Honestly, I am still wishing to wake up one day, and be young again. Not need to consider that there are changes, and that adulthood is just around the corner. No need to consider sex, money, career and just general future life. But I, along with everyone else, am stuck on a road that will only take us one way.


One of my parents friends back in England died last night. I knew him. Not very well, but enough to kinda get a little not in my throat. He died of a brain tumour. He was told about it 5 weeks ago. 5 Weeks. That's not long at all. 5 weeks and then dead.

My dad is rather upset. He's kind of not really making much movement. Like he is moving, but not really adding anything to the flow of anything else. There's nothing I can do for him, or my mum.

I have work I probably should be doing. I also have SO much drama. As in the lesson, not like 'Drama', oh god my cat is coughing. I don;t have a cat, it was a reference to soapy drama's which are ridiculous and such. If people didn't understand, :P.

Tis nearly the holidays.

I hope I won't be lonely.


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