Thursday, October 30, 2008

Nine Dreams, Two Nightmares And All The Friends You Need!


I have a desire to just type my thoughts out, and so here i am. typing away, thinking of things to write. i if cant think of anything worth while, i will just end up posting this anyways, and just being random, because i can get away with just being weird, because thats the kind of person i am. :P

i just watched Dreamgirls, i love that movie. its amazing and like, emotional. it has a great story and brilliant songs. haha, and it nearly makes me cry, lol, nearly.

i really cant think of much to say. i think i have stuff that i would love to just sit here and type, but i dot. i duno, either i cant find the words to say it, or i dont have the flow to keep going. how odd.

i realized something last night, when i was thinking once again. i have also been drained of all my strength and will power. which is terrible, because i think that my inner strength and my limitless will power are 2 things that make me who i am.

i think i can pin point the reasons behind my sudden-ish change in self. but i duno, i wish it were something different, or i wish i could find out that it could be something different. i wish the only explanation any had given me, wasnt for what they said, but for something else.

i am a strong person. i dont let people push me down or break me apart. i always feel the need to stand up for my heart and soul, but my mind seems to be in a turmoil at the moment, or something, i duno. i think my soul is my strength and my will, but i duno, it has been crushed, and my heart is blind. my soul is my hearts eyes. hmm

i know that people cant really help, but to hear them say they dont know what to do, and then not even come up with anything, or just tell me, good luck i hope you can get through this, or tell me, i dont know what i can do. it just kinda breaks my spirits some more. when i ask for help, i just need someone to pick me up, and walk me to the hospital, not fix me there and then. i duno, i feel let down by myself and all those around me. honestly.

people only think about how to solve a solution, but sometimes just showing that you are trying, is enough to make the problem seem less of a challenge. i duno, i am hoping people are reading this and are thinking good things, and are just i duno.

this is my chronicle of thinks. my journal of bodiless adventure. my totem of tales, treasury and tantalizing tricks, told to you, to tell the times and travels my thoughts do tribulate.

'When You Die .. They Wont Mourn .. Rather I .. Shall Be The One .. To Cry .. To Weep .. To Scream To The Heavens .. I Shall Have The Void Left In My Heart .. They Will Merely Acknowledge You Departure And .. Move On .. I Will Forever Be Left Where I Lay .. Reliving .. The Memories We Shared .. The Times We Laughed .. The Times We Cried .. The Times When All Mountains Were Just Hills .. And Lakes Were Just Puddles .. When You Die .. My Friend .. I Will Be The One .. To Write A Song .. And Sing It Everyday .. They Wont .. So Why Dear Friend .. Do You Throw It Away .. This Life That We Have .. Why Do You Do All This .. For Them .. The Ones That .. Wont Cry .. Wont Weep .. Wont Scream To The Heavens .. Wont Have A Void Left In There Heart .. Why Everyday .. Must I Struggle .. To Be Recognized .. To Be Cared For .. To Be Remembered .. For I Am The One .. Who Will Cry .. When You Die'

i duno what that was. i am in an odd mood.

hhmm, i think i will end this blog, i have ran out of steam. i think. i will probably be blogging again later, haha, i cant stop, hmm

i love the love you give to me, i keep it in my pocket. i love the love you give to me, i hold it in my hand. i love the love you give to me, it makes me smile all the time. i love the love you give to me, you'll never understand.

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