Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I have so much to say.

If you want to know, you should ask.

If you really care, you should keep asking.

I am unsure of who I trust. My trusting varies between the selected. Yet they often do things that make me wonder why they were even considered. Like I have so many choices, but still.

Love is too far a way, I would have to run to get there in time, and even then The wall would stop me.

'Is it patronising to give a starving man your left overs'

That was a topic of conversation I had the other night with my dad, when he told me to give my food to the homeless. I said, well its patronising for us to give them our scraps and unwanted food, when we have fresh un used food in the pantry. Which I think is true. We are only giving it to them because we don't want it, when realistically we could give them better stuff. Just because they would accept it, doesn't mean we should limit them to only getting that. My dad says he sees them eating out a bin, so they would truly love our left over quiches. I just thinks its quite morally un just for my dad to believe that giving a man our left overs is 'right', when really its just us trying to justify for our pleasures and luxuries.

There is nothing I can do now to help those 'less fortunate' that won't completely contradict what I just said. The justifying of us having luxuries and such, by giving to those with less than us.


Been talking to newer and newer people. Loosing track. No hope for any love.

I was in the city on Sunday. A prospect had arose, but it stood me up. That was fun, standing outside Haighs chocolate shop for 40 minutes, waiting to see if he would turn up. Which, evidently, he didn't. I saw some interesting people. At one point I looked across at the Darrel Leas Chocolate shop and saw another guy waiting around for someone, I considered going across and asking if he himself had been stood up, and I conjured a whole fantasy of what would happen and such. Then he got a phone call, smiled to himself and walked away determinately. Shame that.

My desires for certain things are chopping and changing. I'm not sure what I want, really. I want that, and that, and sometimes that. I want you, right there. Oh, yes I really want you. No, I want you to want me. LOL.

Theoclymenus the King of Egypt


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