Tastes Like Fermented Vinegar And Honey

My family is back from Pt. Hughes. Yay for them. Disturbed my peaceful time sitting at home doing nothing, but yet it is nice to see them since it turned to the new year. I didn't see my family all yesterday, so it seems the year shall begin, hinting that i wont spend a lot of it with my family. I guess less than I did last year.

Oooh, we have to say 'last year' now when we talk about things from, well, last year. Lol.

I have become ore connected to the music I condem myself to. I like interesting sounds and singers. Scarlett Johanssons sound is just so odd and interesting and I love it, and Tracy Chapman is not a man, she just has an amazingly deep voice. Jeff Buckley is another favourite of mine these days. Its all thanks to my dear I-pod that I got for Christmas.

Why is it that when my family congregates back after not seeing each other for 4 days, they decide to be snappy, arguementative and rude, throwing every peice of negativity they have left. Why is it that they cannot just sit down and describe the exploits and adventures that they have been living through, so that we can all share a lovely time together. It certainly isn't a great atmosphere to have.

But then again, I guess things might be looking up. A family discussion of our times, all around the dinner table. For some, that might sound boring, or terrible, but honestly I love family dinners. It has been proven that just one family dinner a week can help deal with depression. Ofcourse there comes the possibility that it could end badly, but I'm not going to let that get to me.

Gosh I sound like a douche. I'm spending so much time trying to say what people want me to say, and how they expect me to say it, I now just end up sounding so drab and annoying.

If I'm honest, I'd tell you I spent most of yesterday making friends with randoms from Myspace, finding whores on Habbo Hotel and eating. I spent a good 13 hours on the computer doing shit all, and that in fact it was incredibly boring. But out of it, I have made a nice new friend that I shall go and meet with, and let the mood take us where it needs to go.

Atm, I am still in my PJ's and dressing gown. I am not hungry or thristy, but i havent at or drank anything. I feel dirty, because I haven't showered yet, and I am having cravings for cookie dough.

I am honestly feeling a bit lonely, but thats only because it may not be long until I no longer need to feel like I have no one. I still continously search for something more creative, and am constantly buzzing with imagination.

I love my friends more these days. But this blog is not for them, or you. It is for me, to help me, to make me feel better. As selfish and self centred as that might sound, when I leave this keyboard, when I stop typing, my thoughts with stop going to me and start concerntrating on those around me.

I have rambled on long enough, and now i must go shower.

Love Love xx