I hate knowing that next year I will be free from 12 to 13 years worth of the schooling routine. I think, the knowing, is what is causing me to just mentally breakdown.
My parents are always asking me what I want to do, and the thing that I hate is the questions. Even though I know that I would never decide to just turn around and tell them everything, mainly because most of the time I know my thoughts are ridiculous, but also because I just don't like talking to them. My dad does this thing where before I've even made me point he will be giving me other options and I duno my mum just has this way of seeming like she is only asking because she thinks she has to.
I've never liked thinking of the future, let alone planning for it. Next year I will theoretically be alone to face the world. Which I hate thinking about, but need to talk about.
I'm trying for a job. Which will probably not pan out how I really hope at all. I am trying all I can to make sure I don't end up in fast food. That will only be if I get to a stage of pure desperation. I keep using the excuse to my parents and myself, that I am too busy working on school work, but realistically the last time I did so much school work that I didn't allow myself time to get on the computer and do fuck all for 4 hours, was about never ago.
I will be turning 18 next year. I will be suddenly given a lot more responsibility. But I will also be legally allowed where ever I like in the city or what not. I am actually looking forward to the idea of spending a night on the town sometime. Which I think is natural for a simple 17 year old boy. I'm not yet a man, :).
The future looks a sort of bluey green colour.