Smite for Spite, yet Feed the Greed

Since slumming it on the weekend, I have been overly thinking quite a bit about all the troubles that go on in this world.I am not going to bore you with my ideas and opinions. I just think that I myself would like to do more. Make more of a difference and such.I do believe that as a society we are rather blinkard to a lot of things. It's a sad reality. But you can't changed a society, not purely by will. Hhmm, I think I shall change the subject.

Ah, I have recently been enlightened into the fascinating literature of Oscar Wilde. 'The Picture of Dorian Gray', at the moment is the section of his works I am reading at the moment. It's quite a splendid tale so far. I also read one of his kids stories, which was quite sweet. Yes, he is pretty much a hero to me now.

My aunt is in hospital with a brain hemorrhage. My mum has been crying on and off since Saturday, being as it is her sister. I think the hardest thing is that we have only three phone calls in total, explaining all that's going on. I think my mum would feel better if she could of been there and see what was going on.

There isn't much left for me to say.

xx

Unclued, Fortnightly

The funny thing about stereotypes, is that they just cause everyone to hate.

It's not quite a riotous laugh kind of funny, but an uneasy kind of, the world is fucked up, funny.

Its like, the 'un-cool' use stereotypes to judge and hate upon those who are more socially accepted than themselves, and the 'cool' use stereotypes to make the lowers feel lower.

It's a mixture of jealousy and pride.

or maybe I just want to add more reasons to MY hatred.

xx

Malpractise Lawsuit

I have been a fool in my youth. So full of enthusiasm. So full of naivety. So full of shit.

Sometimes I wonder to myself, whats worth all this. Whats worth all that. Who is worth fighting for and who is worth dieing for. No, who is worth fighting against, and for what reason.

Then I realise that I am just even more of a fool. I have fought for the wrong people and the wrong reasons, too many times.

There is no sanctuary in grief, only more grief.

I'm not going to lie. To you or myself, world. I jumped and berated, and when felt attacked tried to defend. Against what, a bigger army. You are no Persian and I am no Greek. This was purely a Thermopylae. Yet without the honour of a failure.

Materialist will say look at the gold, realists will say we are just getting old.

LOL. WTF.

TBH, was that really going to work, fix anything.

'I will always dial the K'

xx

Orange Extras

Got a partner to formal.
I am so happy.

I'm slightly distracted by reactions.

Jeff Buckley is awesome.

xx

Cold Mooned Eyes

There is not much going on in my life really. Just school and its general stresses.

I have next year to think about. I have no idea what I am going to be doing. Well, the plan is to work for a year. Then I am going to do some more education.

I am a capable, well balanced, smart person who could do well in most jobs or professions. Theoretically.

I'm only saying this, to try and convince myself that its not possible that I could become a failure. Which I realistically shouldn't. But the idea that I may never achieve anything is frightening.

Really, I need someone to just kick me into gear. But I shouldn't have to need something like that, I should just do what I need to.

I am complaining and whining too much.

xx

The DID Factor

I am aware of my inconsistent and staggered postings.

Gah, I had expected to sit here and write out some stuff. But a) I got distracted by the more exciting aspects of the internet and b) I just don't know what to talk about.

I am fascinated with the TV show 'United Stats of Tara', it is absolutely amazing. Its about a wife and mother with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which means basically, multiple personalities. It goes through her life and the life of her husband and children. The 3 alters of Tara are awesome, and Toni Colette stars, and she is just amazing.

What do I have to talk about? HHmm, more continued loneliness. Pfft, nah.

I want to act. Like proper full on dramatic acting. On camera, on a TV show, where you have character development and real and raw emotions to release. Not poofty school acting.

I realize most people don't have a realistic view of my acting capability, because people haven't seen me at my best, but that is probably a cope out, I don't know.

I love interesting characters. Characters that keep[ you interested and like are just entertaining. I hate it when they introduce characters into shows purely as a plot device, but they are so mechanical and with no dynamics. It's not too hard to create characters with a bit of substance.

I would love to be one of those legendary characters that gets mentioned over and over again in pop culture. A cult classic. Ah, that would be awesome.

Creative and original yet simple stories are usually the most successful. Like a story with a simple concept, a concept that people like, that you stick to, are the ones that are successful. If you start trying to do too much, or start falling away from your beginning idea, people lose interest.

Why am I discussing TV stories. I don't know. I need a hobby that doesn't involve me widdling through the ins and outs of television.

I love United States of Tara, because it really tries to break some good old stereotypes. Its not a classicly cliched story, its of its own. I don't know, I just love the show.

Watch it, 21 30 Wednesdays on ABC1.

xx

A Hop, Skip and A Whiskey Bottle

I hate knowing that next year I will be free from 12 to 13 years worth of the schooling routine. I think, the knowing, is what is causing me to just mentally breakdown.

My parents are always asking me what I want to do, and the thing that I hate is the questions. Even though I know that I would never decide to just turn around and tell them everything, mainly because most of the time I know my thoughts are ridiculous, but also because I just don't like talking to them. My dad does this thing where before I've even made me point he will be giving me other options and I duno my mum just has this way of seeming like she is only asking because she thinks she has to.

I've never liked thinking of the future, let alone planning for it. Next year I will theoretically be alone to face the world. Which I hate thinking about, but need to talk about.

I'm trying for a job. Which will probably not pan out how I really hope at all. I am trying all I can to make sure I don't end up in fast food. That will only be if I get to a stage of pure desperation. I keep using the excuse to my parents and myself, that I am too busy working on school work, but realistically the last time I did so much school work that I didn't allow myself time to get on the computer and do fuck all for 4 hours, was about never ago.

I will be turning 18 next year. I will be suddenly given a lot more responsibility. But I will also be legally allowed where ever I like in the city or what not. I am actually looking forward to the idea of spending a night on the town sometime. Which I think is natural for a simple 17 year old boy. I'm not yet a man, :).

The future looks a sort of bluey green colour.

xx

Demoralised Networks

Prison Break should of ended at the end of season two I reckon. Most people say it would of been best to end it at the end of season one, but I think that you'd still need to know what happens afterwards. I mean, would they just leave the audience to make up there own mind. Evidently, they have decided to drag the story an extra 2 seasons too far. Dam big shot money grubbing douchebags destroying perfectly good television.

You should never what TV with me. I talk through it. I will put in my little two cents, and the only person I know who seems to atleast humour me, is my brother Joe. I'll say what I have to say about certain characters and the emotions in certain scenes and how good I think it is and why. My brother reckons I should be a TV critic. That's probably because he would prefer me to leave him to watch TV in piece, but I don't think that's going to happen.

What enjoy in some good TV, is peoples attempts to break social norms. Since I absolutely detest stereotypes and any form of 'cultural expectations' and the likes, I find it refreshing when shows are different, original and offer a different perspective or emotional response. This attitude is probably why I am still able to watch 'LOST'.

There are some great characters out there, that I just love watching. Sometimes it is only the existence of one character that will make me watch a series. I love story lines that are not only cutting edge, but also full of depth.

What I am sick of though, are these annoying Teen Drama/Comedies, pointless Cop Dramas and shows that don't seem to be able to commit to there basic story concept. What I would love to see are some dead beat poor low life teens trying to get by while one parent is in jail and the other one is an alcoholic, I want to see some shows that have heart and a soul. Not shows designed purposely to build an audience, only to disappoint after sweeps week.

I love TV, but sometimes is kills me.

xx

Gay Marriage

I don't know what I want out of the world anymore.

I don't believe in the sanctity of marriage. There is no spirituality in it anymore. People get married for money, for power, for simply to get married, for the sake of a pregnancy, for publicity, for the gifts and in all of that the romance can be lost. There is no more love left in the idea of marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce. The other 50% are surviving barely and only through denial, or for the children, the money and/or the vows they so forcefully try to commit to. There is a thing called an open marriage, where people have sex with other people. Some people stay married while the husband has a mistress. Wives and husbands have been known to kill there spouses because they couldn't handle being with them.

Yet, here in this world where we pretend to hold on to the values of marriage. There are hundreds upon thousands of hopeful individuals who could easily bring back the sanctity that people so openly want to hold on to. The real love, is in the people who are still together after 30/40/50 years of discrimination and ridicule. Who just want that simple option of the true spirituality that so many people have. Maybe not even the spiritual bond, but rather a legal bond. Classify them legally as people trying to spend the rest of there lives together. In a world where arranged marriages controls a whole culture of people, we can't look beyond our hypocritic nose and see the bigger picture.

I don't see that justification, and I don't understand the reasoning at all. You can shout to me god's name, but if you must, then shout it as well to all those people who have those marriages, yet commit adultery, yet only marry for money, those who divorce, those who launder money from there spouses, all those people that use the everyday legal system to wipe every cent they can from a husband or wife they had for 3 years. If you want to tell me that God doesn't want this, then I want to see you fighting against all the rest of it, otherwise you can take your contradictory half bait idealistic bullshit and shove it where the sun don't shine.

xx

The Death of Dobby

I haven't blogged for a while, and even though I know no one noticed nor even cared, I'm still going to treat this post like I have an adoring public that have been so desperately seeking my words. Only doing that, so I feel like there is a purpose to my rambles or simple sentences.

Cynicism and an angry family.

Just pissed off my brother because I am on the computer, and I said he can't go on yet, because this dam box of lights and wires has been giving me the shits and I had to restart it.

I am tired and depleted, and I have to go.

xx

To You, Of Hope And Life

I wish we were closer, me and you. You and I.

We have a surprisingly large amount of history together. With its fair amount of ups and downs. But I still think that in the end, I like spending time with you.

Yet, I wish we were that little bit closer. Just that enough that makes me important to you, and you to me. Hhhmm.

Maybe, one day, it may happen. In some cases I could see us making more of something. I duno. It shall all depend.

Let it be known, that I think of you highly as a friend.

xx

A Flirtatious Invitation To Say So Too

I find it difficult to comprehend this, but I do think I love him.

LOL. Love is too strong a word for any such thing as this.

No love involved in this, simply a statement of affection.

You were lost in a war of one emotion verse the rest. No one understood the reasons, least of all that one of surety in word. It was a timid illusion that first brought me to you. Yet a believe that more was being said. You come closer than most, but I am in no way sure of if you know. The sugar is lost in this and the ideas shall stay so too. Even if nothing else makes sense, I understand that look.

Stop what you are thinking, and try again once the bell has gone.

xx

Persephone and The Pomegranate Seeds

It feels like it has been a while since I have blogged. Realistically it was Saturday and today is Wednesday, so the time isn't that far apart. But then again, in that time there was the Twitpocolypse and a number of other internet events, so hhmmm.

Whats been going on? I haven't had a good nights sleep in the past 10 days atleast. Each night I have lain awake thinking about nothing. (Lain? Is that a word)

Classics has been entertaining lately. I have been re discovering the Greek Myths I had been taught years and years ago. Pandora's Box being my favouritist of all Myths. It makes me chuckle a little when I read the different versions of Pandora's Box on the internet, and they all end with the exact same word, 'Hope'. Every single one of them just ends with that word.

Well, like its more than just that word, but every last sentence has that word at the end.

Also, Prometheus, the immortal that gave man fire. The man who was punished by being chained to a mountain, while a giant eagle ate his liver. Only for it to regrow again through the night, to then be eaten the next day. Ah, the greek gods were brilliant at creating punishments.

I never get touched.

LOL, not in a sexual weird kind of way, but just in general. Even like shoulder touching or like hugs or anything. No form of physical contact. With guys that is. Never anything, nothing. I got touched on the back the other day, which was kind of odd. But it made me consider the last time I had been, just touched.

Sometimes I would just like a few hugs. Just to remind me that I'm still cared for and such. But like, ah, I don't know. I can't explain it now. Such a distant relationship I seem to have with my friends. Why? What is this?

I know of times when I have not been invited to things, and then I consider why, and even then I can't understand it. Here I am, everyday. I try. I don't understand people sometimes. I truly lose my mind. It hurts now and again, otherwise I am just senseless. I have to be.

I now sound whiney and all crazy. I just feel much more lonely now a days, because I just realise all the time how little people acknowledge me as a person. Ok, I shall stop now, because I don't know what I am saying anymore. I have gone over what I mean.

I often feel left out, or like I am not quite in enough. Which I don't understand.

I want people to just be honest with me.

xx

Lights Out. The Road Is Darker When The Sun Isn't Quite Up.

I don't know what I think.

I've had the 'Create Post' screen open for the past 5 hours, and had only wrote that ^. It's 11 26 pm. Too late for coherent thought.

Time has passed and now its 12:11

I have been reading on the internet, stories of people coming out to there parents. I am feeling the desire to do it soon.

Maybe.

Again, a sharp bite of lonliness this weekend. Ah well.

That rain drop that landed on my cheek, that felt like a tear, was too comforting.

xx

Hog1N1

My little pun for the hole influenza epidemic.

I was happy enough to enjoy a lovely cup of tea after school today. Even though it had a very high number of sugar scoops, I still felt good having it. It was warming and delicious. I love it sweet.

I am considering how ironic it is, that atm Australia is cold. If I think of how ridiculous that would have sounded back in England, then yes it is quite ironic for me to be sitting around in my new Seniors 2009 jacket.

I haven't got much more to add to this post. I am simply coming up with stuff from nothing, and am hoping that people will still respect that I am still trying to say something.

Hopefully I should do well on my Classical Studies essay, since I have been working hard on it. I've written some very nice sentences, that I am quite proud of.

Might get another brew before I make Taco's for dinner.

xx

Euripides

I have so much to say.

If you want to know, you should ask.

If you really care, you should keep asking.

I am unsure of who I trust. My trusting varies between the selected. Yet they often do things that make me wonder why they were even considered. Like I have so many choices, but still.

Love is too far a way, I would have to run to get there in time, and even then The wall would stop me.

'Is it patronising to give a starving man your left overs'

That was a topic of conversation I had the other night with my dad, when he told me to give my food to the homeless. I said, well its patronising for us to give them our scraps and unwanted food, when we have fresh un used food in the pantry. Which I think is true. We are only giving it to them because we don't want it, when realistically we could give them better stuff. Just because they would accept it, doesn't mean we should limit them to only getting that. My dad says he sees them eating out a bin, so they would truly love our left over quiches. I just thinks its quite morally un just for my dad to believe that giving a man our left overs is 'right', when really its just us trying to justify for our pleasures and luxuries.

There is nothing I can do now to help those 'less fortunate' that won't completely contradict what I just said. The justifying of us having luxuries and such, by giving to those with less than us.

Anyways.

Been talking to newer and newer people. Loosing track. No hope for any love.

I was in the city on Sunday. A prospect had arose, but it stood me up. That was fun, standing outside Haighs chocolate shop for 40 minutes, waiting to see if he would turn up. Which, evidently, he didn't. I saw some interesting people. At one point I looked across at the Darrel Leas Chocolate shop and saw another guy waiting around for someone, I considered going across and asking if he himself had been stood up, and I conjured a whole fantasy of what would happen and such. Then he got a phone call, smiled to himself and walked away determinately. Shame that.

My desires for certain things are chopping and changing. I'm not sure what I want, really. I want that, and that, and sometimes that. I want you, right there. Oh, yes I really want you. No, I want you to want me. LOL.

Theoclymenus the King of Egypt

xx

India Made Me This Wine. You Are The Wind.

My head is in pain. It was, and still kind of resembles the consistency of pudding. YAY! I recommend to all of you to never get a Migraine. Not my kind of Migraines. That are almost replicas of a stroke. Woot.

Dark Chocolate did this too me.

I spent most of yesterday in my bed, in the darkness. Thinking about nothing. Sleeping and dreaming. Hoping it would end.

Your pale skin makes your features stand out.

I am alone in the mac labs on Thursday morning. Everything is exciting. I don't know what I want anymore. A silent desire.

______________________

That was this morning, it did not post when I was at school, so now it is 7 43pm on the same Thursday, LOL. I am in my jumper and pajama bottoms. Tis a very comfortable sensation. I also have no socks on. LOL. I am an old man.

It's alright to be insane when the doves are still roosting on your head.

xx

Oscar Wilde, Elton John and Rupert Everett

I did not, in the end, complete my quota. I did though, have what felt like at the time, a very shitty birthday. Looking back, it was still shit, but I have gone past it now. I have vented as much as I can, and now don't have any desire to blog about it.

I am now, going to take a bit more of a break from the blogging. No more over the top posting, obnoxiously crapping on about nothing. Just a bit more of a rarer occasion. Nah, not quite that less. But atleast putting a bit of divide between each post and such.

Dammit, I need someone to text. A person that will be interesting to talk to, and who will get people wondering. Will get me wondering. Offering some hope again. But instead I get people popping in and out. Straight people are like a gay mans Mount Everest. LOL.

Don't patronize me with idle chit chat, be honest with me. Tell me what you think is going on. Don't sit there with your theories about me, and never take into action the possibilities of truth. Honest is the best policy. Honesty is my policy. I shall be honest, as long as you are.

My head is going crazy. Some of the things that are going on. Jumbalia!

Do you know what I loved about skins right. Was the way they put a spin on love and homosexuality. It was not a gay man wanting a straight man, but rather a straight girl after a gay man. It offered the same kind of emotions and impossibilities, but it was a completely different story. Of course the girl was a psycho stalker, but still the emotions behind it were very honest and genuine and such.

Rarely do I like to blog about my inner queer thoughts. It's just not the way I like things to go. But lately they have been the subject of many quarrels in my mind. I hate how empty my pool of possibilities is. It's depressing, and lonely. Ah well.

I shall do as Mitch said and keep my head up.

xx

Aimless

I do hate stupid people.

LOL. 2 days til my birthday, should be good.

I am 8 away from my quota, and after this post 7. I may do it. Hopefully. I would feel good about it, even though I did destroy any credibility I have. LOL.

My party tomoro, I wonder what will happen.

Ask me a question about yourself?

xx

An Introduction of The Alphabet

YAY. A new person. One that could of been a prospect previously, but one I had not taken the chance to go for. I am concerned about the number of arrogant people out there, and so get very disconsolate with people sometimes.

He shall futurally been known as: Zed. LOL

LOL, frivolity.

I have been a facebook friend of Zed for a while now. But haven't really tried talking to him. Then tonight I was like, screw it, i'm saying hi. Through IM ofcourse. I then added his myspace and msn, and now we are talking. Good fun.

Only one defining detail, his orientation. oop.

Hmm, Mr A as well. Could be a good night. I shall work on finding out what kind of type Zed is into, lol. I am a loser. WOOHOOO He is bi. YAY.

Now it gets personal.

xx

Each Song Is Sung For You But Only I Am Listening

You make the world look so much more attractive.

I hope to one day be like you.

xx

Garlic Bread and Fanta

Ok, so my mother is out tonight, having spent most of the day out drinking wine, on a wine tour around the barossa. Fun. This means I am going to have to help lug her drunk ass around the place.

2 days til my birthday, I am quite excited. I am hoping to get lots of money and love. LOL.

Can you really test insanity?

xx

Our New Friends

The Swastika.

Apparently my school is the home of white loving, black hating, asian beating neo nazi's, who for some reason felt it was just to decorate the school with obnoxious racial hatred, and discriminative threats.

It got me thinking, about racial divides and such. How, even though America just elected a black/african american president, it hasn't changed the way people think, still holding on to there stereotypes. We still have our presumptions and invented opinions.

These people that said 'kill gooks' and 'niggas die' don't even understand what kind of ground they are setting for everyone around them. They are the shit of this earth. Small minded, petty, little derelicts who don't know the first thing about common human decency.

They make me sick.

xx

Woolworths in Blackwood

I AM SELFISH! All I do is think of myself. Of course my birthday party gives me no right to ask. Can't make 10 pizza's, thanks anyways.

I always hate this week.

xx

Crumple Zone

3 DAYS!

She still don't trust me. She is annoying me now. Youngens and there believes of maturity. Tell me I act like a year 9.

Thats right.

xx

Seat Filler

I'm coming close to my quota. I do feel terrible because of my self destruction of blog, but I felt like I needed to try and achieve something. That's a cop out, really I just wanted to make sure that May had the most posts in it, and also to see if I could open up a bit more. Which hasn't happened.

I love you, yes you, right there.

Dammit.

xx

Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry

That's made of paper.

Hopefully, now that I have made some creative arrangements for my birthday party, it should all be good. 5 days to go. OMG. I shall be 17, YAY.

Out of my group of year 12's I am the youngest. Signaling the last 17th birthday party for us all. Yoop! Goodness, I remember when I thought 7 was old. Ten years later look where I am. Hmm, I'm happy with that, that's all good.

I sure hope my birthday will be a success. Unlike previous years. I will keep my fingers crossed.

What are you going to get me?

xx

Thorndike

He would be a psychologist, of types.

It would be so much simpler if I was a woman. I would probably not be so lonely. I might even be prettier (cough) or I might be sluttier, I don't know. Either way, it would just be simpler. At least then I could generally assume that a guy would most probably want to get into my pants.

LOL, the whole 'get into pants' phrase always makes me kind of chuckle inside. That's why I like to sue it.

But along those lines, not necessarily the whole getting into pants thing (haha) but more the whole, liking/not liking , crushing, the possibility, ooo a party, random hook up, ooo, yayh, and such. All the bullshit that I can't take for granted.

Hay you, in the shirt, tell me if you like the men or not, because I'm not sure. Or for those of you with probably friends of the like mind nature, I duno, give em my number, LOL.

Patricia White eat your heart out.

xx

The Irony Will Kill This School

Why don't you trust me little one? The questions I am now asking myself.

Am I a trustworthy person. Do you people trust me? I don't want to know for what reasons for or against, I would just like to know if I am a trustworthy person. She's got me shaken.

In fact, who do I trust. Wholey and soley. No one, I guess. There are people I would tell certain things to, or wish to say certain things about, but I never truly open up to people, or give people the chance to get inside (LOL) and like, hmm. Even on here I don't really open up, I may hint to certain things, or subtly talk about something, but realistically I don't.

Is that really the problem. No one will open up because I don't either.

Only time will tell.

xx

Poor Baby :P

If I had kept up with my quota, I would be on 50 posts for this month. Sadly, (only sadly to me) I have not been successful in that. I of course shall still keep trying.

I shall keep this brief.

I am lonely.

xx

Aunt Pervert

Old King Cole
Was A Merry Old Sole
And A Merry Old Sole Was He

LOL, I don't think that is right.

Only a drive through lover.

I needed to vent, about my parents, because my dad ruined my birthday, and my mother just kind of accepted it. All my plans for my birthday were to make it easier for my dad, so that he didn't have to spend lots of money, and so we weren't in the way, and one detail and he goes all crazy.

Why can't I have my party on the driveway? Who cares if the neighbours see, I know I don't. People bitch whether you do the right thing or not, might as well have fun in the process. That's what annoys me, its completely against everything I believe in, and that's his reason. Well that's the reason he gave me.

Every year my birthday has to be cut down into this crappy shitty boring version of what I wanted. The plans in my head would of been awesome.

The other thing that pisses me off, is there is no compromise, its simply, no I don't want it on the driveway. I ask why, he says, because, and I say, well I don't understand. It's my fricking birthday. I've had my party in the garage, in the corner of my house, and now, instead of trying to spread a little bit, its back to the corner again. This time, though, I am going to try and make it my own again.

I want some tail.

xx

You Sunk My Battleship

LOL, I love the Simpsons. and SCRUBS

Last episode next week. I think I will cry. It was sad today. I can see what is going to happen. I just hope its nice. :D My Love of scrubs is deep.

Hmm, I just got reminded of that joke, 'Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway', it's a silly joke, that makes fun of the English language and its inconsistencies. Ah well.



Certainly would of been funner the way I wanted it.

xx

Shawton The Spider

Old King Cole

Oky doky. So anyways. Have you ever considered the size of an elephant, and noticed how insignificant that elephant is to the rest of the world.... the possibilities.

Right, well. If you feel hated, by a number of people, the best thing to do, is to let everyone know you are not happy about it. Aw. Ok well. I reckon I could make a nice long list of all the people that hate me, it would be a joyous occasion. Goodness, how many people is it? Ok, let me think.

Ouch, too many. Anyways, I would suggest to cheer up, and not let people effect you, but I don't think I have the right to put in my input, so I will just leave it be, for now.

My hair? Shorter or longer? Darker or lighter? It's always about my frigging hair, isn't it. LOL. I am a woman obsessed. Glasses, good or nah? LOL. I shouldn't care. No one should care. If no one cared the world would be a better place. The world would be nicer. Simpler. Easier. Nah, if we didn't have that, we would have something else. That's the way the world works.

What are you doing?

Anyways.

Everyone enjoy your fun.

xx

12:34

Ok, I am reasonably happy now. I believe I should have most probably passed my psychology test. YAY.

I am bored. Very bored. No more lessons. No more work. Just kind of chilling, with nothing much to do at all. Now there is music on, I don't know who it it, but its sounds alright. Nice and sweet and such.

A MAD HATTERS TEA PARTY.

You'll see. LOL.

Anyways. Do I have anything to talk about.

My birthday is in 6 days. Party in 5.

Aw, what a neatio invitation. LOL.

So, anyways. I'm in my glasses. Woo! It's helping me see. My eyes had been getting a bit dodgy, and so now, I can see much better. Which is probably a good thing. I have marks on my nose where they have been sitting on my face, LOL.

What do we really value?

xx

NO, I'm No Ones Wife, But OOH I Love My Life

'Start the car, I know a woopi spot, where the gin is cold and the piana's hot'

LOL

My insecurities are telling me that I am doing everything simply for myself. I don't think so. I was just thinking, that no, maybe most of the things I do, ARE for other people. As much as I wish they weren't.

But how do I change that. Because wouldn't I be changing for the sake of other people.

Ah, I don't really care. No one is as individual as they think. I will just be myself.

'I'm going to rouge my knees and wear my stockings down'

xx

Dormouse

I just swept up the leaves around my house. It was a stressful job, mainly because I made it stressful. I'd get frustrated and such. My i-pod head phones falling out of my ears, or the wind blowing the leaves, or the bag to put the leaves in not staying open and all the leaves falling on the floor. Either way, I was conscience of how angry I kept getting.

So, its 8 days til my birthday. Tomorrow is will be a week away. Wooh. I have a brilliant idea for what I want to do for my birthday. It should work out nicely. It's a very 'me' kind of thing. I will tell you, when I know if I can do it. You can sit there and ponder what it might be, for now.

I've been stressing about my travel plans for tonight. Lucky, my dad has saved me, and offered to pick me up, as well as take me. But I think he added extra sweeping areas, just to even it out. I don't mind. I wasted about $6-7 of credit, on texting people to see if they could take me home. But it's all cool now.

I am listening to Miley Cyrus. I am actually unsure why. I like her songs, to an extent, but I'm not quite sure why I decided to listen to her.

I have jobs for my mum to do now. The usual, vacuum the living room, and clean my bedroom. It's all cool.

I think I will need to have another shower.

xx

PUTS YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR

Hello to the world with its cheese graters and coffee cups.

STOP WITH THE DRUMMING AND SINGING!! We get it. You over there, sitting next to that kid, and you with the chin.

LOL, a crescent moon.

What do I have to say? Nothing much really. I made dinner last night, as I do every thursday, so thats not very exciting. I am looking forward to starting our play in drama. It is 9 days until my birthday. I will be 17. YAY. But what to do?

I don't care about JAI HO!!

Anyways.

Yep, there is nothing going on atm. That I need to talk about. I am quite chill.

I'm so 3008, your so 2000 and late.

xx

'Not My Business' Inditio said

'I see your face in the mirror
and your light in the sun
I hope you were young
I hope you were young'

I went to make dinner and forgot what this post was going to be about. Yummy yummy Fajita's. I love them.

Ask me a question.

xx

Spaghetti

I caught the eye of my chip shop guy, last night. HAHA.

My chip shop guy. That would be a guy, who works at my local chippy, who I have only seen twice, but yeh. LOL. I went in for some chips yesterday, and caught his eye. Was really a nothing moment, but eh. :P.

Anyways.

That was just something I was going to mention last night, but I didn't get on.

I am a loser, LOL.

xx

Blue Spray Can

I was expecting have a relatively bad day. I was going to be angry and stuff. I was in that kind of mood last night. Like, when I got to bed, I was all angry and everything, and hated the world. Today though, I don't hate the world, I am OK with the world. So, I am alright today.

I'm just going to check something.

Yay, I like my reflection today. I don't feel ugly. Woop!

or fat, for that matter. I feel good today. I haven't felt 'good' in a while. I think.

Oh wait a minute. I told some people, they know who they are, about something involving one of my nicknames. With the thing, and another thing. Oops. Possibly just spilled some beans.

I am biting my nails again. I had been doing so well, and now they just look like shit. Dammit.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. I feel up to going to the after party. LOL. Last night, I was telling myself I wanted to get pissed. But really, I don't. I can imagine the things people would say, if randomly I started drinking. 'He just wants to fit in, because he ha no friends' or something along those lines. People are bitches. LOL.

Nah, I was angry and upset last night. This is after my blogging. Unless it sounds like I was angry/upset in my posts. But I can't remember. I am still trying to be ignorant. But that has failed. My hand is starting to hurt a little. I don't know why.

Ah well.

I would like the option to fly.

xx

Cate, Cate, Can You Help Me!

I have no future yet.

A majority of my close friends at least have some form of idea what they will be doing next year. The army gap year. There own gap year, then on to tafe. Some are already at tafe. Some it will be Uni or tafe. Me, on the other hand, am looking over a prospective dream.

Dammit. My dream prospect is VERY expensive. Holy cow!!!

xx

Riddle Me This

'Home Is Where You Are'

LOL.

I'm going to block everything out for a little bit. Just become completely ignorant to the world, and its voice. LOL, the world doesn't have a voice, not a single unified one. It has many dispersed opinionated voices, but not one single voice of reason. Either way, I probably need to just stop with the thinking.

Yep. Here I am.

A default version of myself.

xx

It Began With A Hippo, As All Stories Should

I've got practically nothing to do, atm. I just need to write out a good copy of my english oral, and I will be all set. So I am rather bored.

I am thinking about going home, but don't really want to. I want to talk to Holly. Something is kind of off at the moment between us, and I really feel something needs to be done. I possibly need to talk to Alpha as well. I duno.

I have decided to finish my write up, of 'The Adventures of Lam'. Which is my happy story. Its random and fun. My take on a modern day Alice in Wonderland. I guess.

I may put my short story thing, 'Annabeth'. Which is a short story, that is kind of in relation to 'I Am Clara'. I say kind of, because neither story adds anything to the other. Its like a spin off. But its very different. I may put it up here for you to read, depends how I feel about it later.

I probably should work on my oral thing. LOL.

Nah, I am not in the mood atm. I really can't do it. Honestly I don't care if the copt I gave looked like a peice of crap. I am comfortable with that, the oral itself was a peice of crap anyway.

Listening to Taylor Swift again. My latest musical fascination.

I am concerned for you.

xx

Naomi??

I love Skins, but hate season 3.

Anyways.

Facebook is entertaining me atm.

I'm trying to be as honest a possible. :P. Its failing. I have now become concerned because all my family have facebook as well, so anything said on there, could get back to the rents.

I say this, while clicking 'continue to results' on a 'Are You A Player?' quiz. LOL.

Just about to go for some roast dinner, Lovely stuff.

Oh NO, the gravy has all black ness on it. My dinner might not be how I like it. I love gravy. :'(. Hhmm, I have been using that smiley sequence a bit more than I usually do, tonight.

Nah, the gravy was lovely.

xx

... But I Have The Key.

So, hey. I have been blogging a lot lately. I gather most people are skimming, which is cool. I didn't really have the expectation that people would be sitting here reading them all.

Today, I have felt kind of out of it. Like I am just on the side or something. Ah well. As I always must do, I shall ignore it, and move on. Hopefully I will feel Ok later.

My hair annoyed me this morning. I had a shower, and got out, my hair was wet, and I dried it, and did what I always do, and them my hair was all weird and just shit, and it annoyed me, and I got angry. I always get angry. Why do I get angry? Ah well, again. My anger is pointless.

I am tired I think, maybe.

Little orange sticky notes. Theatre styles?

I am in the mac labs at school again. Not on the dodgy computer, so its all OK.

I need to sleep or something. Get away, or something. Nah, I need to just get my act together, or something. Just stop caring.

This keyboard is dirty. I can imagine that there is years worth of bacteria on here. Great!

Ok.

xx

That Door Is Locked ...

I just made myself a new blog. Its called 'The Mock Turtles Tail' and the url is 'www.10over6.blogspot.com'. There is nothing on it atm, but you wait.

So yeh. I'm in a 'change it' or 'start something new' kind of mood.

I should really try and do a little bit more productive with my days.

I need to organise things to do. I need to stop being a whore.

I need to lose weight.

xx

The End Of A Feast

Been making some minor adjustments to my blog. I was getting tired of Passion Foods. There was no passion left.

No, in fact, there is passion, but no food. Nothing to feast on, just biting on air.

So, now it has changed to Shelf Life.

Observations from my seat on the wall.

Oh, I like that. I may put that as my description. Maybe.

I'm still as orange as ever though.

xx

Post 201

I missed the 200th. So am celebrating the milestone now. LOL.

Not really a milestone, more just a heck of a lot of shit.

I'm such a douche sometimes. I'm sorry for that.

Nostalgia.

xx

Oh Lep!

It was Mr. A who I was texting.

The conversation was not for the faint.

LOL.

I would of just said that, but I never feel comfortable talking. So I apologise for my vague-ness and my obvious efforts to blow over the situation. It's my basic instinct to deflect.

If I'm honest, I trust you.

xx

Anyone's Assumptions Would Just Be ... True

LOL.

Is there anything really going on with me atm? I don't think so. Maybe. I will think about it.

Today I was nearly sick. My mum told me that yesterday (friday 15th may) at 8 in the morning, some 15 year old girl was knocked down by a car and killed, while walking her dog. Right before school, on the corner of Sir Donald Bradman and Marion roads. They say that the person that hit her down, probably wouldn't have even realised they had, because they were in such a big car.

It made me feel sick when I heard it. Imagine that, your at school, and you find out your friend was in a hit and run, and is dead. Imagine being the person that did it, that didn't even realise. What about when they find out?

Yep. It shook me a little bit. I don't really know why. It kind of just made me think a little.

Myspace is pretty shite these days. I've accepted its shittyness. Nothing is ever going on on there anyways, so whats to be concerned about. I go on there to check if anyone is saying anything to me, or to change my status. I've been making it, Shelf Life 'and ...........' The dot's representing what I would say after it. Atm its Shelf Life and The Swift. Meaning Taylor Swift. Because I am listening to her.

I want to go shopping. I want to have someone over for a sleep over. One person. I want to dye my hair. Why do I want?

Welcome to Sin City.

xx